Sifting Thoughts

            I recently had a discussion about honesty which resulted in the conclusion that saying the first thing that comes into your mind isn’t honest. This flies in the face of many common ideas, because what is honesty if saying the first thing to come to your mind isn’t the most honest thing to say?

            I periodically see a post show up on my social media claiming that a study found that people who swear more are more likely to be honest. The logical connection being made is clearly that people who swear are more likely to be spouting whatever is on their mind, and that’s honest. Isn’t it? Well, let’s take a closer look at that.

            When you stub your toe on something, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Unless you’re a remarkably logical person, most likely the first thing on your mind in that moment is to be mad at the inanimate object you just stubbed your toe on, and be very angry at it for being there. If you were to shout out your anger at the object (as I’m sure you might), scathing it with the fury of the first thing that came to your mind, are you expressing your real and honest opinion on that object?

            Technically, the answer is yes; in that very specific and precise moment, those horrible things you shout at that poor innocent inanimate object are precisely what you are thinking about it. But, that opinion is fleeting and won’t last. It fades with the pain, leaving you feeling a little silly for shouting abuse at something that doesn’t even have ears – and which you probably put there in the first place. Unless you’re a remarkably stubborn person, you’ll most likely even admit to yourself that an inanimate object can hold no responsibility for the pain you just experienced. And, just like that, your totally honest response to stubbing your toes crumbles into meaningless lies that you spewed out in a moment of emotion. Your actual, honest opinion on that inanimate object and the part it played in causing you pain is the one that comes after letting the pain die down and taking the time to think about it.

            Now, naturally, there isn’t that much trouble with shouting at inanimate objects – unless, of course, it’s fitted with some very sophisticated Artificial Intelligence – but consider if it had been an impressionable child you’d tripped on when you fell and hurt yourself. Why you left a child lying on the floor is beyond me, but that initial, ‘honest’ response of yours could do everlasting harm.

            Let’s take a look at prejudices. These are ideas that we’ve been trained into believing, sometimes since childhood (possibly by having them shouted at us after having been tripped over). We look at someone, and we instantly make certain decisions about them based on how they look, how they’re dressed, how they move – anything. As an enlightened person, you are aware of at least some of your prejudices and know them to be untrue (and, frankly, in some cases, ridiculous. I mean, seriously, just because it’s a spider, it doesn’t mean it’s out to murder you). Yet, there’s that trained piece of your brain that throws the prejudice to the forefront of your thoughts. If you voice that prejudice, because it’s what’s right on your mind, you won’t be being honest – because your honest opinion comes after all that hard work you’ve put in to quashing that horrible prejudice (spiders are people too, you know).

            So, speaking what is on your mind clearly isn’t inherently honest. I would call it impulsive, and only honest out of happenstance or if the person you’re conversing with asked about the first thing that came to your mind. Honesty is what you get after you’ve taken the time to form well-reasoned thoughts.

            That, in itself, is something of a revelation, isn’t it? True honesty doesn’t come from impulsively speaking what you happen to be thinking; in fact what you say can become more honest by sifting it through mental filters before speaking.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Honestly

Why is it that we encourage so much dishonesty in our society? We hypocritically spout that honesty is always the best course of action, but we turn around and punish honesty – and reward dishonesty.

Let’s take the familiar story of the child breaking a vase. If the child admits to breaking the vase, they are most likely going to get into trouble. If the child lies about breaking the vase, and get found out, they are most likely going to get into trouble. So, the best solution available is to learn to lie really well to stay out of trouble, because, from the child’s perspective, that is the only possible way of avoiding getting in trouble.

But it’s not as simple as just truths and lies. We then get trained to hide things about ourselves that we think others will judge us for. This behaviour is encouraged by the teasing that occurs when we reveal our interests. You like what team? You play what game? You like what? So we learn to hide and be dishonest about what we like – and maybe even join in with teasing others for what they like.

Going in even deeper, we discover that being honest in any social situation is, in fact, rude. Are you ready to go home before the party is over? Wait until you have an appropriate opening. Did you hate the food you were fed? It would be rude to tell the person who made it, so lie. Did something upset or hurt you? Hide it. How are you feeling? It doesn’t matter; be cheerful and happy.

Everywhere you turn, you’re expected to lie. Unless everything in your life fits into a specific box, you have to lie. But, don’t do that! Be honest. Honesty is the best way.

Why do we do this? Why do we train people to be dishonest about everything, yet expect them to be honest? Most of us don’t have that much to hide, at least not that’s actually worth hiding. Sure, it would be a dramatic shift, but wouldn’t it be nice to see a world where honesty is actually valued?

The biggest concern with a world like that is that people would constantly be getting offended by the truth – as if the whole world is going around secretly hating everyone they interact with. There may be an element of truth in that, but if there is, I think it’s inherent in this society built on dishonesty. We put so much faith in this judging of others that our entire outlook on the world is inherently negative. And, can we trust it when other people say they like us? Of course not, because if we didn’t like someone, we wouldn’t tell them to their face.

If we were to strip away the dishonesty, and really practice what we preach, there would likely be a massive shift in our entire world views. Our outlooks could turn from inherently negative to inherently positive.

It would take a lot of work over several generations, but if we taught acceptance and encouragement rather than teasing, and if we taught honesty – both delivering it and expecting it – we could, perhaps, finally practice what we preach.

Honesty is the best policy. Honestly.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Mob Mentality

            It always boggles my mind how easily people’s opinions are swayed, particularly in this age where information is so accessible. Discovering the truth of a situation is a bit of quick research away, and only requires a little bit of critical thinking to figure out the truth.

            For example, word reached my ears this week that J.K. Rowling is homophobic. I laughed, because anyone who knows anything about that woman knows this to be untrue. However, a lot of people – even professionals in the literary world – were buying into this rumor. So I did my research – and I still can’t believe that people are believing this rumor when all they have to do is read.

            The evidence for J.K. Rowling being homophobic is that someone involved with the latest Harry Potter movie said that Dumbledore (known to be a gay character) will not be openly gay in the movie. So people immediately assumed that, since Rowling wrote the screenplay, she was chickening out from presenting the character as gay. The mob mentality roused and people began haranguing the Rowling about it.

            Her response was quite simple and to the point. She muted people on social media, saying that she wasn’t going to accept abuse from people who read an interview that she wasn’t involved with about a screenplay they hadn’t read – incidentally, a screenplay that was the first in a five part series.

            Somehow, people took this as proof that Rowling is homophobic, when it is quite literally staying the opposite. It’s almost explicitly stating that Dumbledore, while perhaps not portrayed as openly gay in the first movie, will become so over the course of the series.

            Yet, the rumor has been started – and people are believing it. Why? It’s so easy to find the truth, but people are so eager (as with political situations) to believe the first thing they read that they don’t go digging. They would rather believe a falsehood and flip their opinion about a person or a subject than do a bit of research.

            Why? Is it simply not worth the effort to fact check? Is it mob mentality – everyone else is saying it, so let’s not go against the crowd? Is it pure emotion – has the internet given us such a safe place to lash out at the smallest provocation that we no longer show any restraint? Is it simply that people care so little about their opinions that they don’t care if they change their mind about it, so they go with the clickbait headlines rather than the facts?

            To me, it speaks to something rotten at the core of our society. What it comes down to is that news is viewed as a form of entertainment – not by those who consume it, but by those who create it. This has come to be because, given a choice between news that is boring and news that is entertaining, people will always choose the one that’s entertaining – so the news has become more entertaining, more dramatic, to compete. The result is that facts and truth get lost amid a swirl of opinions and misdirections intended to draw people in.

            And, slowly, the truth has stopped mattering to us. It’s the entertainment that matters. People believe what they read, because they trust the source – or, conversely, distrust what they read from sources they don’t like, regardless of accuracy. Many even believe satirical articles that they didn’t realize was satirical.

            So, is that all it is? Do people no longer care what’s real? Is it too difficult for us to figure out what’s real?

            Or is it just easier to follow the crowd? After all, when has a mob ever been wrong?

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

To see the chainmaille my wife and I make, click here.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Truth or Satire?

            A few years ago, I found myself reading an article about a recent study. The article talked about how this study, funded by a major oil corporation, had found that an increase in solar power would kill the sun faster, literally sucking the energy out of it to make our electricity.

            At the time, I was unaware that this was a satirical journalism website. Nothing clearly labelled it as such. However, as I simply couldn’t believe what the ridiculous article claimed, I started doing research to find out the validity. Before I discovered t was a satire site, I found myself going through the comments, seeing if people were believing what the article claimed.

            Most didn’t. Likely, many were aware that the whole article was a joke. However, there were some who fervently believed that this was true – solar energy was sucking energy out of the sun and would cause it to burn out faster.

            Since then, I have seen numerous satirical articles shared on social media by people who think they are real. Because they share some of the views being mocked by the satirical tone, they readily believe the articles without taking the time to check the information.

            It is so indicative of society. We see something official looking, so we automatically believe it. Researching takes too much time and effort. So, if we want or fear it to be true, we’ll believe it.

            On the rare occasion that someone wants to look into the validity of what they’re reading, it’s nearly impossible to get a confirmation unless you can get to the source. With the internet, information is right at our fingertips – but so is misinformation.

            Sarcastic and satirical people often make the mistake of thinking others understand their sense of humour. Unfortunately, there are a whole lot of literal people in the world, who take everything at face value. It’s no wonder there are so many people with no understanding of each other.

            Adding to the trouble is the requirement for news to be entertainment. I saw an episode of Gilmore Girls the other day where the main character, aspiring to be a journalist, had her writing criticised for not having her opinions in it. It’s the sad truth about our news these days – it’s all about the opinions of the people presenting it.

            What we really need is a news service called something like “Just the Facts” which presents nothing but the facts of a situation. Then people are given the freedom to decide what they think for themselves.

            But, that wouldn’t be entertaining enough, would it? And it sounds like a lot of work. Why would we want to make up our own minds about things when it’s so much simpler to agree with someone else? There’s no need to think when you can blindly follow.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.