Sifting Thoughts

            I recently had a discussion about honesty which resulted in the conclusion that saying the first thing that comes into your mind isn’t honest. This flies in the face of many common ideas, because what is honesty if saying the first thing to come to your mind isn’t the most honest thing to say?

            I periodically see a post show up on my social media claiming that a study found that people who swear more are more likely to be honest. The logical connection being made is clearly that people who swear are more likely to be spouting whatever is on their mind, and that’s honest. Isn’t it? Well, let’s take a closer look at that.

            When you stub your toe on something, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Unless you’re a remarkably logical person, most likely the first thing on your mind in that moment is to be mad at the inanimate object you just stubbed your toe on, and be very angry at it for being there. If you were to shout out your anger at the object (as I’m sure you might), scathing it with the fury of the first thing that came to your mind, are you expressing your real and honest opinion on that object?

            Technically, the answer is yes; in that very specific and precise moment, those horrible things you shout at that poor innocent inanimate object are precisely what you are thinking about it. But, that opinion is fleeting and won’t last. It fades with the pain, leaving you feeling a little silly for shouting abuse at something that doesn’t even have ears – and which you probably put there in the first place. Unless you’re a remarkably stubborn person, you’ll most likely even admit to yourself that an inanimate object can hold no responsibility for the pain you just experienced. And, just like that, your totally honest response to stubbing your toes crumbles into meaningless lies that you spewed out in a moment of emotion. Your actual, honest opinion on that inanimate object and the part it played in causing you pain is the one that comes after letting the pain die down and taking the time to think about it.

            Now, naturally, there isn’t that much trouble with shouting at inanimate objects – unless, of course, it’s fitted with some very sophisticated Artificial Intelligence – but consider if it had been an impressionable child you’d tripped on when you fell and hurt yourself. Why you left a child lying on the floor is beyond me, but that initial, ‘honest’ response of yours could do everlasting harm.

            Let’s take a look at prejudices. These are ideas that we’ve been trained into believing, sometimes since childhood (possibly by having them shouted at us after having been tripped over). We look at someone, and we instantly make certain decisions about them based on how they look, how they’re dressed, how they move – anything. As an enlightened person, you are aware of at least some of your prejudices and know them to be untrue (and, frankly, in some cases, ridiculous. I mean, seriously, just because it’s a spider, it doesn’t mean it’s out to murder you). Yet, there’s that trained piece of your brain that throws the prejudice to the forefront of your thoughts. If you voice that prejudice, because it’s what’s right on your mind, you won’t be being honest – because your honest opinion comes after all that hard work you’ve put in to quashing that horrible prejudice (spiders are people too, you know).

            So, speaking what is on your mind clearly isn’t inherently honest. I would call it impulsive, and only honest out of happenstance or if the person you’re conversing with asked about the first thing that came to your mind. Honesty is what you get after you’ve taken the time to form well-reasoned thoughts.

            That, in itself, is something of a revelation, isn’t it? True honesty doesn’t come from impulsively speaking what you happen to be thinking; in fact what you say can become more honest by sifting it through mental filters before speaking.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Does Exercise Help?

            I was told all my life that exercise was important – not to mention fresh air and sunshine. I never paid much attention, as I was always on the skinny side and had sufficient muscles for my daily life. I figured my just-about-daily bike rides to and from school were sufficient, as well as my weekly LARPing in my teens. I was probably right, but who could say for sure?

            My adult life provided far less opportunities for movement, but, again, I wasn’t particularly troubled by that. At least, not in any way I was aware of. Then, a few years ago, my wife decided to start exercising regularly, and I figured it was probably a good idea to join in – I’ve always accepted that exercise keeps you healthy when you’re older, and I figured that if the routines are built at a younger age they’ll be far easier to maintain. We managed to get into a routine of walking three days a week.

            It took a while, but eventually our bodies adapted and came to expect the exercise – just in time for winter. So we pulled out my old Dance Dance Revolution games, and switched to that for the winter months. It worked well, and when spring came we went back to walking. Last year, we even increased the exercise to every day instead of just three days a week.

            Still, while I knew the exercise was healthy, I couldn’t see it having any impact on me. Yes, it was a good established routine, and was making excellent building blocks for eventual old age, but it took up a great deal of time with no visual impact. I didn’t resent it, but I did often wonder if there was much point to it.

            Then various circumstances conspired to make it so DDR was no longer an option for exercise, a month before it was warm enough to start walking again. In the month it took the weather improve, we had no exercise. I didn’t notice any difference at first, but once I did become aware I came to realize that they happened within the first few days. It became harder to get out of bed in the morning and I had noticeably less energy throughout the day. What energy I did have wasn’t used optimally, because my brain wasn’t functioning as well. I even became less enthusiastic about going to the weekly D&D game I run.

            When the weather improved and we were able to get out walking again, all of that reversed within the first couple days – and I was amazed. There were so many little things in my life that had been affected by the lack of exercise – some I’d guessed at the cause, but others I hadn’t even noticed until exercise improved them. For me, it was quite the revelation.

            So, if you ever find yourself wondering if you should exercise – or if there’s any point in exercise – chances are there are a whole bunch of things in your life exercise can improve, though you probably won’t even notice them at the time.

            Besides, it’s good to know that when the zombie apocalypse comes you’ll be able to survive longer.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Basic Income

            There’s this concept being experimented with right now called Basic Income. Some countries already have it and some others are testing it, but I don’t think there is nearly enough information about it given out. The essential concept is that the government gives everyone of the age of majority enough money to live off of – and, after that, all you get told are the details about how the system works – not why it is being done.

            Based on that surface information, there are a number of different responses that jump straight into people’s heads. The ones that really get to me are the people who complain about the government giving money to people who aren’t working for it – a response that shows they have no idea either how an economy works, or how people think.

            The latter isn’t really their fault – we’ve been trained to think that work is unpleasant and that, given the opportunity, no one would work. This has fostered the belief that anyone on any kind of government support is simply lazy and feeding off the rest of society, which is completely untrue. Sure, there are some people who abuse the system, but the majority of people getting money from the government A. need it for one reason or another and B. would much rather be working for their money.

            The truth is that we humans need work. It’s not merely a way to make money; it’s a method for passing the time. Without it, we’d go stir-crazy. Sure, the idea of playing video games all day every day may appeal to some people, but after about three months of that our brains long for something different (yes, I’m speaking from experience) – and that’s where work comes in. We need a variety of things to do, and work helps break up the time, making enjoyable activities more enjoyable.

            Apart from that, no one wants to just be handed money. Oh, we think we do, but it’s just as unrewarding as spending the entire day on the social media website of your choice. It feels horrible to be living off the charity of others, so, given the option, most people avoid it. So why does anyone accept these ‘government handouts’ then? Because money is needed to survive – and our strongest instinct is to survive.

            So, how does this Basic Income thing help? First, it makes it for everyone, meaning that the stigma associated with accepting government money are lessened, making it seem like a less horrible option. Next, it makes it easy to get on to – being automatic for everyone. Finally, it encourages everyone to get off of it: it’s only enough money to cover basic expenses, so if people want cars, houses, the latest books or videogames, TV channels, or any of that, they still have to get a job. However, it doesn’t just vanish as soon as someone gets a job, it simply fades out as the person makes more money – but at a rate where the person is still earning on top of their basic living expenses. In essence, you get given, say, $20,000 per year – if you start working, your income goes up by half your earnings until you’re making about $40,000 per year, at which point the Basic Income drops out.

This means that people with disabilities are able to work fewer hours and get a better income, while still having the security that, if worst comes to worst, they won’t end up living on the streets. In fact, it means that no one need ever end up on the streets again! Just like that, a bulk of the homeless problems are solved.

            But wait, there’s more! Think of all the drastic changes a system like this makes to the whole society. Students won’t need as much debt to go through school, people who lose jobs won’t have to panic about finding new jobs, and people can work fewer hours to get the money they need to survive – which will improve mental health across the board.

            Then there’s the work environments – remember that horrible boss you had once? Or that dangerous work environment? The co-workers who made you dread going to work? You couldn’t quit, because you needed the money to survive. But with a Basic Income, you could safely take the risk of quitting and finding a new job, knowing your base expenses can be paid. That may seem a small thing at first, but think – how many bad bosses will there be if their employee’s aren’t trapped working for them? How many unsafe environments if the employees feel safe walking out? The system would actually force work environments to improve. Employers would be forced to earn their employees’ respect and loyalty.

            Then there are all the would-be entrepreneurs out there. Starting a business takes a lot of money and risks. How many more brilliant businesses might start if there is a guaranteed safety net?

            Hang on a moment, though. This is still money being given out by the government. That means it comes from our taxes! Well, yes, but that’s the most brilliant part of it. You see, there are people out there who would have you believe that the best thing for the economy is to give more money to rich people, so they can spend that money on more extravagant things, which generates more jobs and pays more people. Yet, however hard they try to prove trickle-down economy, people are always able to find holes in the arguments and math.

            The truth is that the opposite is true. The economy functions through the movement of money, and the poorer someone is, the more likely they are to spend their money. People with a lot of money have a stockpile of it. If you give $20 to a corporation, they don’t turn around and spend it – they put it in a holding tank, where it may take ages for it to get passed on to someone else. That’s where the economy goes to die. On the other hand, if you give $20 to someone who barely survives from paycheck-to-paycheck, they’ll spend every penny of it and fuel the economy.

            So, yes, the money comes out of taxes, but even though it looks like it’s being given away for free, it’s actually improving the economy. But, in truth, it shouldn’t be thought of as the government giving away the taxes you worked so hard to pay – it should be thought of as a country investing in its people. Once the system is up and running, taxes will be more like paying off the money that was invested in you while you were building your life. And, once you start thinking about it like that, you’ll be happy to pay your taxes, secure in the knowledge that they’ll be going to someone else who is still building their life. Perhaps even your own kids.

            Imagine if a Basic Income could be implemented around the world – converting poverty into unlocking everyone’s full potential.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Oh, Nothing

            Today I can think of nothing to blog about, so I’ve decided to write about nothing. Nothing has become a favorite topic of mine, ever since a friend introduced me to the topic in highschool.

            To put it simply, nothing cannot exist. The word ‘nothing’ refers to the absence of everything, meaning that there is nothing there. However, being able to define that absentness as ‘nothing’ means that it really is something. It is, in fact, nothing.

            By calling ‘nothing’ nothing, we turn the nothingness into a thing. We define it as something defined by the lack of things. Unfortunately, this means that nothing is, in fact, a thing – albeit a rather abstract one. By definition, nothing is not a thing, yet by calling it nothing, it becomes a thing and is therefore no longer nothing.

            Therein lies the paradox of nothingness. It can only be nothing so long as we do not call it nothing, for as soon as we do it becomes something and can no longer be called nothing.

            So, nothing does not exist. But here is where it gets tricky. There is the distinct existence of nothingness that we can no longer define as nothing. Take space, for example. It’s a vacuum; there’s nothing there. No matter, no particles, nothing. However, calling it nothing is fallacious, because by defining it at all we are acknowledging that it exists, making it the opposite of nothing.

            This means that in order to even acknowledge that something is, in fact, nothing, we must pretend that it doesn’t exist. Because, you know, it doesn’t. It would, therefore, be wrong to call it something (even nothing), since giving it a label means that it exists.

            So, every time you encounter something that you suspect might be nothing, the best way to handle it is to give it the silent treatment. Pretend it doesn’t exist. It isn’t rude because it most likely doesn’t.

            Ah, I could talk about nothing all day. Anyone interested in spending a day in my head?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Just an Interesting Thought

            So, this past month marked the anniversary of myself and Colleen. Four years of marriage, however since we got married on the third anniversary of when we started dating, we’ve been together for seven years.

            Now, science tells us that that every cell in our bodies are replaced every seven years. So, from a purely physical perspective, does this mean my wife and I have been a couple for our entire lives?

            An interesting thought, although one that makes me wonder why I allow my brain to talk.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Habits

            It always astounds me how easily we get into habits. Or the things that can become habits, even when we are not expecting them to.

            Take writing, for example. I very deliberately developed a habit of writing every day. I made the decision to write every single day six years ago and I haven’t looked back. What I didn’t expect was the secondary habit I didn’t even notice I had until earlier this month.

            Once I finished writing my first book, I set a goal for myself to write a book every year. I managed it for the first five years, but last year I decided to switch it up a bit. I wanted to take the year to really focus on building the world I write in – developing people, places, cultures and maybe writing a few short stories.

I focused on that for about three months before I found myself with a book idea I just had to start right away. So, the new book took on much of my writing time until I had yet another idea. I focused on the world building around that idea, while still taking some time to work on the book until I’d developed the idea to the point where I was ready (and extremely excited) to start the new book.

            So, I did something I promised myself I would never do – I started the new book without finishing the previous one. What has all this got to do with habits? Well, I’m getting there.

            January rolled around and during my year of only world building I had a quarter of a book and a half of a book. However, for the last five years, January has been the time when I have started work on a new book. An idea started tugging at my brain – an idea for a book I’ve had for a while, but now my mind was trying to start writing it even though I have two unfinished books to complete first.

            That’s when it hit me. I’ve actually developed a habit of starting a new book in January. It is so ingrained in my brain that it tries to do it whether I want to or not.

            Apparently habits can be built into our systems on an annual calendar. I find it astounding to think our minds can pick up on something happening with such a large time gap in the middle and still make a habit out of it.

            Now I must go resist starting a third work in progress.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Nanowrimo

            November has drawn to a close and, with it, so ends this year’s Nanowrimo. What is Nanowrimo, you ask? It is (Na)tional (No)vel (Wri)ting (Mo)nth, when writers from around the world challenge themselves to write a 50,000 word novel in a month.

            I’m not one of those writers – although I do consider joining them every year. I know my limits, though. Some days I do manage to write enough words to reach that word count, but it’s only when inspiration strikes. Outside of that, my brain needs lots of background time to work on the story, otherwise I have no idea what’s going to happen next.

            However, Nanowrimo is about far more than reaching the word count. It encourages writers to just write, getting to the end of the story as fast as possible without making everything perfect. Multiple drafts, revisions and editing are for that.

The true goal is for writers to push themselves forwards with their writing and stretch their limits. That’s how I take part – by aiming to write more than I usually do. With a little over 10,000 words written in November, I’d say I succeeded in beating out my 5,000-6,000 word monthly average.

            There’s no way for a writer to fail at Nanowrimo as long as they do their best. However, for those that do reach the intended word count, hearty congratulations are in order. It’s no small feat to write a book that fast – so well done to you. Perhaps someday I’ll join your ranks.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Pizza and Brains

            It’s interesting, what sticks with you over time. It isn’t always what you expect.

            This week, for the first time in over three years, I returned to the pizza store where my wife and I used to work. Colleen had just been cured of lactose intolerance and we were celebrating with lots of cheese.

            We were both uncertain as to what would be dredged up in our memories as we returned. While it makes the best pizza we know of, that store was a source of great stress for both of us – so much so that it led us to quit, in spite of the fact that we generally enjoyed the work itself and were very attached to the place.

            Entering the store as a customer (for the first time), I expected to be flooded with reminders of all the negativity that led to me quitting. Instead, I was surprised to find that, instead, I was remembering all the good times I’d had there. A few of the more entertaining bad memories surfaced, but my mind just glazed over them. Colleen reported much the same. That’s nostalgia for you.

            It’s nice to get flooded with positive when you’re expecting negative. I wonder if that’s just how our brains work – with it being easier to remember the good than the bad, as long as it was from long enough ago. Hmm... Now I must do some research into that.

            Oh, and the pizza was excellent. Coming from someone who spent five years treating making pizzas as an art, that’s saying something.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Revisiting

            Well, I've done it again. Surprise, surprise, I've left writing my blog too late and I can’t come up with any ideas for what to say this week. Possibly because I didn't even notice that a whole week had passed. The trouble is, this time I've run out of clever ideas for filling the empty space.

            I mean, I've already blogged about blogging, written blogs that didn't exist and simply saidsomething profound. What else is left?

            Revisiting them, I guess.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Memory

            This morning, while I was driving to GenreCon, I had an idea for a blog topic. It was a good, profound one, too. I even had it half written in my mind. By the time I arrived, I had no clue what the idea was about.

            Memories are fascinating and frustrating things. You can’t remember what you want to (at least, not when you want to) and you can’t forget what you don’t want to remember. Memory varies from person to person, both in content and in style.

            Personally, I know my memory is in third person. I don’t remember events as if they happened to me; I remember them as if I observed them happening to myself. I also have an excellent memory, at least for most things (blogs apparently not being most things). I tend to be able to replay events for analysis with a high accuracy to how things actually occurred.

            On the other hand, there’s my brother. He has a pretty good memory most of the time, but every now and then he tells a story from our childhood that is slightly confused – specifically in that he remembers things that happened to him as happening to me. They mostly seem to be his unpleasant memories, so I suppose it was a coping mechanism to superimpose them onto me. I find it amazing, though, that a brain can do that.

            One of the best stories I have about different types of memories, though, comes from my mom. She has a good childhood friend who she visits with every now and then. When they are remembering past times, my mom’s friend can remember all the details of an event – even recalling conversations word for word. My mom, on the other hand, remembers all of the emotions connected to the event, what it felt like to be there. Together they’re able to paint a very accurate picture of their shared memories.

            Now... what was I talking about again...?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Anecdotes and Profoundness

            I decided that, this week, I should write something profound.

            Something profound.

            There, now that that’s out of the way, I can get on to other things, such as boring you with pointless anecdotes. Let’s just reach into my memory and pull one out. Ouchouchouch, I said a memory, not my whole brain!

            One feature that has defined me for my entire life is that I'm stubborn. Strong willed, my mother calls it. One thing I've always been a stickler about is only partaking in entertainment I enjoy. For this reason, I started saying of movies and books, “No swords, no magic – no good.” Now, my tastes aren't actually that strictly limited, but it’s a good starting point for understanding what I like.

            In grade 10, I ran into a bit of a problem with this. For the English curriculum, we were required to read and review three books throughout the semester. At least one needed to be fiction and one non-fiction. Wellll, I didn't really like that arrangement, so I did what I felt was the next best thing – I reviewed two fantasy novels and one science fiction. Close enough, right?

            After submitting the final review I waited and waited for the teacher to say something to me about it. She never did. I passed with flying colours and never had to worry about it. I always wondered if she hadn't noticed or if I was just such a great student that she’d let it slide (I still remember when she gave us a grammar quiz to see what we knew – I was the only one who got 100% and she was appalled at how lowly everyone else had scored, so she told me to read a book or do whatever I liked while she taught everyone else how to grammar).

            Two years later, I got the opportunity to ask her. You should have seen the look on her face! I’d managed to slide the fiction reviews past her without her noticing. I can’t remember exactly what she said to me, but I'm sure the word “sneaky” was used.

            The moral of the story is that teachers are busy and don’t have the time or memory to check on minor details, so read whatever you like. Although, I have to admit, the following year my grade 11 English teacher (who had been my Grade 10 Latin teacher and was currently my Grade 11 Latin teacher) put a lot of work in and managed to get me to read a non-fiction book – The Devils’ Horsemen, which was a wonderful book about Genghis Kahn.

            There, I've both shared an anecdote and said something profound. That makes a good blog, right? See you next week!

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

The Easy Way

            My goodness, is it ever hard to come up with something to write about this week. My brain seems to think that, since I cheated on my blog last week, why not this week? Of course, the answer is that, if I did that, soon I wouldn't have any new blogs.

            It makes me think back to video games I used cheats to play when I was younger. The first one that comes to mind is Age of Empires. For those of you not familiar with it, Age of Empires is a medieval RTS (Real Time Strategy) game. That means it’s a game where the player controls an army and moves it around the map, fighting your opponents armies in real time (as opposed to turn based, like RISK or Civilization). At the same time, resources are gathered and spent on buildings, research and troops.

            Not long after I started playing the game, I was introduced to cheats. These were commands I could type to do things such as give me special units, kill all my enemies or give me free resources. The only ones I used very often were the resources ones – it saved a lot of time waiting for them to be gathered and let me build things much faster. It also made it impossible for the computers I was fighting to beat me.

            I actually thought I was good at this game.

            At some point in time, I decided I should play the game without cheats and discovered I couldn't. Without those free resources coming in, I just couldn't keep on top of my army well enough to beat anything harder than the “easy” computer. In the end, I always had to return to typing “powpowpow” about twenty times and destroying my enemies with my army of bazooka wielding, tricycle riding babies.

            The same sort of thing happened with Morrowind (Elder Scrolls III, also known as Skyrim’s grandpa). That game was hard when you started playing it. Before you raised your character to a decent level, worms could kill you. Luckily I once again was given cheats, which made it so I could actually play the game. Unfortunately, once again, without those cheats I can’t play it at all.

            Cheating makes everything so easy and our brains are wired to do everything the easiest way possible. Once we know there’s an easier way, it’s hard to go back to the harder way. But there’s something we don’t realise about cheating until it’s too late – and that is that enjoyment doesn't come simply from winning; it comes from overcoming a challenge. Those games I mentioned? I don’t play them any more because they aren't fun if I cheat and my brain gets mad at me if I don’t take the easy route and cheat.

            Just so it’s clear that this doesn't just apply to video games, in elementary school I was the biggest cheater ever in the game 7 Up – and I was never caught even once. In this game, all the kids hid their heads in their arms on their desk while seven kids that were “it” went around and each secretly tagged someone. Then the seven kids went stood at the front of the class while the seven tagged kids guessed who had tagged them. If they guessed correctly, they switched with the person who was “it”.

            Cheaters in this game were easy to spot and call out because they had to lift their heads to see who tagged them. Then there was me. I figured out that if I positioned myself just right, I could see the floor and, consequently, could flawlessly pinpoint my tagger by the shoes they were wearing.

            After cheating made this game boring, too, I was able to use this skill to always choose the wrong person so I didn't have to leave my desk and participate more.

            Games are meant to be challenging and so is life. There’s only one thing that cheating and taking short cuts achieves and that is getting something done. But just getting something done isn't enough, because if it isn't done properly it becomes empty. Cheating in games makes them boring. Cramming for a test so you can pass leaves your head as empty as when you started. Stealing things makes them worthless. Taking the challenge out of life makes it feel dull and meaningless.

            So, get out there and challenge yourself. Do things and do them right, because in the end it’ll feel more rewarding and you’ll find you've accomplished far more. I know I did and I ended up with a pretty good blog post.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Stream of Consciousness

            There’s a writing exercise called “Stream of Consciousness”. What you do is write down your thoughts as they come into your head. I was thinking it would make for an interesting blog post when I remembered how terrible I am at it.

            My first problem with writing a stream of consciousness is my typing speed. I can’t keep up with my brain. Being a writer, you’d think that I could write pretty fast – not so. I can only type twenty-five words per minute. Granted, that’s one handed and I can maintain that speed with either my left or right hand. Mathematically, that means I should be able to type fifty words per minute with both hands together, but no – two hands somehow drops my speed to twenty words per minute. As a frame of reference, office jobs usually require a minimum of fifty words per minute.

            The next problem for me is that I don’t actually think in words. At one point, in school, I was taught that there were two ways that people thought – either in pictures, or words. I immediately baulked at the idea because I didn't think in pictures and I knew that my thoughts needed to be translated into words before I could express them. Eventually I realised that there must be a third way of thinking (unless I was an anomaly) and, after giving it a large amount of consideration, I decided that I think in emotions. On top of that, I have several layers of thought constantly running through my head and only the one that seems most important at the time gets translated into words.

            Which brings me to my third and final problem with writing a stream of consciousness. Whenever I try to do one, my efforts to focus on what I'm thinking about inevitably focus on what I'm doing and becomes all about the exercise I'm trying to attempt. Here’s an example:

            Okay so I'm supposed to be doing a stream of consciousness thingy. I hate these things... so... what am I thinking about? Well, duh, I'm thinking about writing a stream of consciousness. As an example to the people who read my blog. Yeah I'm doing a really great job, I know, ‘cause all I can think about is what I'm supposed to be writing and, as a result, I'm writing nonsense about how I'm not writing what I should be writing because my brain refuses to switch topics.

            See what I mean? It just doesn't work for me. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting and fun exercise to try out. You should try it at some point, unless your brain is wired like mine (in which case, you have my pity) and you just keep getting caught up on what you’re doing. In that case, you should focus on writing things that don’t put your shy brain in the spotlight.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Words

            Have you ever taken a moment to stop and think about words. I mean, really think about them. Not the meanings of words, so much as the existence of them. They’re amazing!

            It’s so fascinating that we have this in-depth method of communication. Humans wouldn't have accomplished anything close to what they have without it. Yet, if you stop to think about it, words are downright weird. We make nonsensical sounds with our mouths and vocal cords and, somehow, when we hear them, they have meaning for us. How did this come to be?

            I've thought about this a lot, as I've worked on writing my own languages. Most (if not all) spoken languages these days are built on the blocks of previous languages. Words and grammar have evolved and become so natural to us that we take them for granted – at least until we find ourselves wandering in a foreign country where no one understands what we’re saying. How did it start, though? What was the very first word?

            My theory is that the first word would have been an order, such as “Go!” or “Get!”. That seems the most likely place for a primitive language to start. You want someone else to do something, so you create a word that, when accompanied by a gesture, can convey your meaning. A language has started.

            But, by telling someone else what to do, we recognise that we are different than them. We start calling them “You.” Then, since we have a way to address someone else, we come up with “Me” to refer to ourselves.

            From then, it snowballs onwards, with the language getting larger and larger. We come up with more commands and, for clarity, we come up with words for objects as well. That way, we can tell “you” to “get” a “tree”. Poor you will have a hard time of that, but at least he understands what we want.

            Then, of course, names for people come into existence, so we can distinguish all these “you”s from each other. Plus, if everyone is “me”, we feel like just another “you”, so we want a name to use for referring to ourselves.

            Armed with our new language, we charge into the future, teaching these odd sounds we've made up to our children, and they to theirs, until the vocalisations become second nature and no one even thinks about how remarkable words are. In fact, we even have squiggles to visually represent words.

            The squiggles are taught to us as sounds that string together into the words we know, but eventually they take on a life of their own. We see a word and, even if it’s spelled wrong, we know what it means just as well as if we heard it. It truns out taht as lnog as the frsit and lsat letetrs of a wrod are in the rhigt pacles, it deosn't eevn meattr waht odrer the rset are in! W3 c4n e3en r3pl4c3 c3r74in l3773r5 wi7h numb3r5 4nd 57ill b3 4ble t0 r34d. I wouldn't be surprised if I ardshfu tunboef slinwy guwisju and you still understood what I was talking about.

            Yet, all this time, it is still just random sounds we make or generate in our heads. Sounds that, more than likely, would sound incredibly stupid if we didn't know what they meant (some sound stupid even when we know what they mean). Somehow, there is a transition in our brain where the sounds and squiggles that represent a “tree” turn into a tree.

            Aren't words incredible?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Where Wild Brains Roam

            Have you ever looked down at your feet and realised just how far away they are? No, really. I mean, if your head were to fall off for some inexplicable reason, when it landed, it would hurt. Really hurt. Although, with your head falling off, I really have no idea why you’d be worried about a little pain. Seriously, get your priorities straight.

            Where was I? Oh, yes, feet! Way down there (perhaps closer for some of you than others *cough*mydad*cough*). How did they get there? Don’t you remember a time when they were much closer? No, not quite that close – yes, I know all infants go through that stage where they chew on their toes and some people never grow out of the phase of constantly putting their foot in their mouth, but I'm talking about when you’re standing straight as a board. As in a two-by-four (properly treated so it doesn't twist – if you have to twist to see your feet, I'm afraid I must tell you that you've gone and got your feet on backwards. You might want to have someone look into that) rather than a board of directors because those are rarely straight.

            So, yes. Closer feet. Back then, the drop wasn't nearly so far. We could fall flat on our faces and hardly notice it. Of course, we also had the energy to go whizzing around , so we were far more likely to fall flat on our faces. Or run straight into walls. Or trees. I did that once, I should tell you some time. My dad tells it better though. My version has me, my brother, a Batmobile Nerf gun and a tree. My dad’s version has pirates marauding on highway 403. Way better.

            Anyway, your feet were once much closer, then, suddenly, one day, you look down and discover just how far away they are. Has that ever happened to you? It happened to me today. I guess that just goes to show what kind of funny thoughts can spring into your mind sometimes.

            Now, pick your head up off the floor and put it back on your shoulders where it belongs. This isn't the Labyrinth, you know.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.