Kenku

            After staying up too late playing a D&D game my wife is running, I’m quite tired and having trouble coming up with something to blog about, so I’m gonna tell you a bit about the character I’m playing in this game. I apparently have a knack for making fairly unique characters, so you may hear about some others in the future.

            I try to build characters suited to the game I’m playing, and the unique situation surrounding this game forced me to be more creative than usual. You see, I originally wasn’t going to be playing in this game due to a scheduling conflict, and so I started off helping Colleen brainstorm and flesh out her ideas for the story. That meant that when the situation changed and I was invited to be a player, I already knew far too much.

            Now, this in and of itself isn’t too much of a problem. I could simply pretend that I had no idea what was going on – but that makes it complicated when it comes to having my character help figure out mysteries and such. If a situation arrived where I knew what was happening, I’d have to carefully navigate around the treacherous waters of guessing what I would figure out without my prior knowledge. It would be better, I thought, to have a character that was generally unable to help with such matter. And so I set to work.

            At first, I considered simply having a stupid character, but instead I landed upon the idea of playing a kenku. A kenku is a race of humanoid crows that were cursed long ago, having their wings removed, the “spark of creativity torn from their souls”, and, most importantly, their ability to speak removed – they can mimic sounds they hear, like a bird, but they have no ability to actually speak. For someone who knew too much about the plot of the game, it was perfect.

            And so I put together my kenku rogue whose name was the sound of a bird’s wings fluttering. He was a strange creature raised in a life of crime, situated perfectly for being dragged into any adventurous situation. And then the fun began.

            Because of the kenku’s ability to mimic sounds he heard, I began listening to the other players very carefully. Any time they said a sentence I felt might be useful in the future, I wrote it down in a way that would indicate the inflection – with a note of who said it. With these carefully selected phrases, I began my rudimentary form of communication.

            At first the other characters were somewhat confused at hearing their own words mimicked back to them, and a little annoyed, but the strange bird-man proved useful in battle (even if he did have a tendency to steal eyeballs) and he kept following them around. Eventually they were able to figure out that he could actually understand them and think for himself, and even that the strange fluttering-wings sound was the name he was calling himself.

            However, lacking the ability to mimic the sound, the more “normal” characters decided to give him a name they could pronounce. Thus he was fully accepted into the group with his new name: Rustle Crow.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Green Door Reboot

            Some exciting news that I’ve been putting off until the time is right (i.e. all the right eggs were all lined up) is that my wife Colleen’s new website is now live!

            After launching Green Door Life Coaching last year, Colleen (with some help from me) worked at marketing the business herself. Alas, marketing is challenging and her attempts weren’t getting the reach she needed. So, rather than continuing to fumble around in the dark, we hired a marketing company to get us on the right track.

            Over the last few months, that company has built a brand for Colleen’s company, built her a new website, and given her a marketing strategy (which has been augmented with the help of a business coach she’s working with). And, just in the past couple of weeks, everything has finally been completed – the website has been launched, the strategy had started, and Green Door Life Coaching officially has a brand!

            So I encourage you to go check out the website (watch the awesome video! And, for the geeks among you, keep an eye on the background of Colleen’s office space for references). It would also be great if you went and followed her Facebook, Twitter and/or Tumblr pages – and, above all else, point other people (especially those with ADHD) in her direction. Even if they aren’t looking to hire her, she’s regularly sharing great resources that can help anyone.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

2016

            I feel like the end of 2016 was a combination of “Woah, it’s over already?” and “Finally, it’s over!” On a global scale, the year has been quite the circus with rather a lot of tragedy – but hey, why talk about that? We’re going into the new year with plenty of hope and motivation to make it better than the last.

            For myself, I find that 2016 was measured in my wife’s achievements. Any time someone asked me what was happening in my life, my response went something like this:

            Well, you know. I’ve been writing – I’m quite happy with my latest book and I have very high hopes for it. And I’ve made some chainmaille, that too. Oh, but Colleen...!

            Colleen got her driver’s licence. She finished her coach training and started her own business! She’s got clients! She’s going off to talk at events. Colleen’s working hard to build her business while still working with me on Ringcrafts and helping me edit, isn’t she amazing!? Oh, and we just hired this marketing company and....

            Yes, this was definitely Colleen’s year. It’s been thrilling to take a backseat (‘cause she can drive now so I don’t have to) and watch her rocket towards her dream, helping others all along the way.

            Overall, I feel like 2016 was a transitional year, laying a lot of groundwork for the future. Now it’s time for us to step out into 2017 and see what we can achieve during this trip around the sun.

            Happy New Year!

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Perseverance for Data

            This week, I was talking with my wife about promoting her business. Starting a new business is a challenging and frustrating process, but spreading the word about it is the hardest part. A lot of time and energy gets put into figuring out how to reach potential customers and it can be disheartening when it doesn’t pay off.

            The important thing to remember, though, is that a business is a long-term prospect, as is figuring out what works for you. Perseverance is extremely important, as well as collecting additional data before jumping to conclusions.

            Colleen was disappointed in a couple of marketing techniques she’d tried, without seeing any improvement in her business. She compared what she’d done to the one method she know has worked, which was getting listed on a website – far less time and work than her other, more creative attempts. I told her that these new attempts needed more testing before she ruled them out as effective. She didn’t have enough data to make the decision.

            To demonstrate my point, I pulled out a coin and told her to make a tally chart – heads vs tails. I explained what I had learned about probability in grade five; if you flip a coin enough times, it will eventually land on both sides the same number of times.

            I started flipping the coin. The first three flips were all heads, and we finally got a tails on the fourth flip. At this point, I asked Colleen what side the coin was most likely to land on next, based on the data we had. She said heads, of course – and that’s what we got.

            We kept on flipping the coin and the heads column kept a lead, but tails did catch up a little. With heads at seven and tails at six, I asked again – based on the data, what is the most likely side of the coin? Heads again.

            Tails finally caught up with heads when they had both landed nine times. At this point, I explained again that, however many times we flipped the coin, it would eventually even out. However, until we had gathered enough data, we had no way of knowing that – or, in our case, knowing if it was true.

            Applying this to marketing methods, I explained (or would have if Colleen hadn’t already figured out on her own) that having a clever marketing method not yield any results once or twice does not provide enough information to call it faulty. Perseverance is required so that enough data may be gained to determine what does and doesn’t work. Then, a decision to continue or discontinue the method may be made.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Just an Interesting Thought

            So, this past month marked the anniversary of myself and Colleen. Four years of marriage, however since we got married on the third anniversary of when we started dating, we’ve been together for seven years.

            Now, science tells us that that every cell in our bodies are replaced every seven years. So, from a purely physical perspective, does this mean my wife and I have been a couple for our entire lives?

            An interesting thought, although one that makes me wonder why I allow my brain to talk.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Green Door Life Coaching

            Today I must tell you about my wife, Colleen’s, latest enterprise. After months of training, she is launching Green Door Life Coaching, her very own life coaching practice! Isn’t that awesome?

            What is life coaching, I hear you ask? Well, let me learn you a thing. A life coach is someone you can go to if you’re feeling like your life just isn’t up to snuff. Unhappy with something in your life? Can’t keep on top of your chores around the house? Are you always late? A life coach can help you with all of that and more.

            That’s just the best way I have to describe it – life coaching is actually very hard to explain. That’s why many coaches – Colleen included – offer a free coaching session. That way you can learn exactly what coaching is about, what to expect, how it can help you, and if this particular coach is a match for you.

            Now, this might seem a bit like an advertisement – and in a way, it is. Starting a new business is hard, and the hardest part is getting noticed. This is a shout-out to all you wonderful people who read my blog, asking you to check out Colleen’swebsite and, if you can think of anyone who could benefit from her services, point them in her direction.

            Her training specialised in ADHD and the people she’s aiming to help the most are geek, but she’s far from limited to them. I don’t think there’s anyone she couldn’t help – provided they want said help. Life coaching really is that awesome.

            Oh, and you should check out her blog, too. I’m particularly fond of her series on why youwant people with ADHD on your zombie apocalypse team.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Silly Suggestions

            I have a bad habit of making half-joking suggestions that I never expect people to take seriously, and then getting roped into actually doing said suggestions. BBC’s Sherlock, one of my all-time favourite shows, had a special episode that was being played in theatres for only two nights: The Abominable Bride. Both nights were sold-out at the nearest theatre, and I was lucky enough to be going with my wife and her mother.

            So, the night before the movie, I made one of these half-joking suggestions. I suggested that my wife and I could go in costume – an easy enough enterprise, since my wife already had costumes for both Sherlock and John Watson. Colleen got quite excited about the idea. She’d been planning to go dressed as Sherlock anyway, but she was more than willing to surrender that costume for a chance to do a couple’s cosplay.

            The problem for me is that to feel comfortable enough to wear a costume, it needs to be as accurate as possible. My hair wasn’t right for the role of Sherlock and Colleen’s wig that she uses for the costume wasn’t accurate enough – not to mention I wasn’t up for wearing a wig anyway.

            This is what led me to making, the morning of the show, another silly suggestion. I pointed out that I needed a haircut soon anyway, if we could get that done before leaving to see the show we could also get my hair styled properly for Sherlock.

            ... Before I knew what was happening, Colleen had called our hairdresser and made an appointment. An hour later, there I was. Getting my hair curled for the first (and likely the last) time in my life. I must say, the hairdresser we go to is a miracle worker. We show him a picture of what we want and he can make it happen (even if it’s an animated character). So, here is what I went to see Sherlock: The Abominable Bride looking like.

Mr. Holmes I presume

John and Sherlock on their way to The Abominable Bride

Sherlock seeks a mystery worthy of his vast intellect

            And in spite of the fact that I still think my half-joking suggestions are a bad habit I should kick, I had a great time and am glad I did it.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

A Geeky New Year

            Welcome to 2015! According to Back to the Future, we get hover boards this year, so we have that to look forward to. For all those sciency people out there, I have two words for you: electro magnets. Make it happen.

            Anyway, Colleen and I had a great New Year’s Eve – we celebrated by staying home and making our way through a geek countdown. What’s a geek countdown, you ask? It’s when we count down from ten geeky movies, shows and games to midnight instead of seconds. The catch is there had to be a numerical value associating the activity with the number of the count.

            Our countdown went like this: We started by watching the episode Blink from Doctor Who (with the 10^th Doctor), then watched an episode of Deep Space 9 (the Trouble with Tribbles crossover episode). Next, we played some Super Mario World (an 8-bit game) followed by the 7^th episode of Firefly (Jaynestown). After that, we watched Star Wars episode 6, Return of the Jedi, the 5^th Element and the Fantastic 4. We finished off by playing a little bit (because we were running out of time) of Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind, Portal 2 and the 1^st Little Big Planet.

            Yes, we managed to squeeze that all into one day (all before midnight) and it was a blast. We’re thinking of making it a New Year’s tradition – with different activities, of course. We’ll have more time to plan for next year, so we could get really creative.

            I hope all of you had as great a New Year as we did and that 2015 is fantastic for everyone.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Twisty Plot Expectations and Predictions

            I have frequently frustrated my wife with the ability to predict plot twists that she never saw coming. Sometimes we’d be watching a TV show and I’d say “Oh, this person is going to use that piece of information they just got to their advantage later” and when she asked how I knew it, I’d say it was a momentary facial expression of the actor. In Frozen, I knew who the surprise villain was the moment he came on screen. When asked how, I was able to say that the situation was just far too convenient – plus (and this is the part Colleen hates the most) he happened to have the same sideburns as some villains in Tangled.

            There is far more to it than the subtle clues, though. Stories have arcs that they follow, there are certain patterns that are expected. If those patterns aren't followed, the story doesn't resonate with us as well – or the outcome is too obvious for the audience. Funnily enough, that's exactly what makes them easier to predict.

            Surprisingly, I couldn't put words to all of these patterns, but I do have an instinct for them. If I pointed to a specific one, I could tell you why it’s important to have. Other than that, I just “know” the route a story is supposed to take – a very useful talent for a writer.

            In fact, that very thing happened when Colleen and I went to see Big Hero 6 this week. Colleen and I pretty much had the theatre to ourselves (you know that thing Sheldon from Big Bang Theory does in theatres? She did that), so we happily whispered out plot predictions to each other. Who was it behind the mask? We each had a theory on the twist, but it wasn't until after we found out which of us was right that I put the thought into exactly why the one character was better than the other, specifically that the wrong option had too minor a role (sorry if I'm a bit vague – I'm trying to avoid spoilers. It was an excellent movie and the short at the beginning was amazing).

            So, you might wonder what enjoyment I can get out of stories if I can predict the outcome. Does it lessen my enjoyment that the plot twists don’t surprise me? Quite the opposite. For me, I thoroughly enjoy predicting the outcomes based on the evidence presented by the story teller. Foreshadowing is important in stories because, without it, there is no evidence to support the plot twist. As a result, I feel that if the creator of a story did a really good job, I should be able to predict the outcome.

            Now I just need to hone my skills so I can predict the future. After all, life is just a really long story, right?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Software Relationships

            This morning Colleen came to me with a brilliant metaphor, so I told her to write it down because it would be perfect for this week’s blog. Besides, it’s been far too long since we heard from her. So, without further ado, I give you my wife.

At the risk of creating another one of those ideas that begins "Life is like a ham sandwich..." it came to me that relationships are like software.

At first, when you download your packet, you're so amazed and excited by all the new features. You enjoy it in all its shiny, brand new aspects and for a little while it's the epitome of perfection.

However, every program has its bugs. Eventually you discover one, then another and before you know it you are wondering if it was worth it downloading and installing the program in the first place.

Then you're faced with a choice: uninstall and try and find another program with fewer problems, or deal with the issues as you can. Because if you're creative and determined, most problems have fixes if you persevere.

Though not everything can be dealt with. You will always have those glitches, those odd little bumps and twists life is prone too. Because nothing is perfect, because humans are not perfect.

Some people download, then uninstall perpetually, ever searching for the perfect program to fit their needs. Always seeking the new or the different, convinced it is the program's responsibility to form to their needs, without effort and without thought on their part.

Others, those lucky few, discover a program early in life, decide it is just good enough to work hard at the remaining glitches, and live happily, understanding that inherent imperfection that humanity – and therefore software – is prone to.

            There you have it – life is like a ham sandwich, relationships are like software programs and, without further ado, I'm taking my wife back, because when I said I was giving her to you what I meant I was lending her to you.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

I Want to Teach the World to Con

            This week’s blog is brought to you from the mind of Colleen.

There is a phenomenon that geek/anime/nerd convention goers sometimes experience known as the post-con blues. It's the feeling of emptiness that proceeds the day or weekend of non-stop fun and freedom that accompanies the events where nerds run wild. It can feel different for every person. I personally wake up every morning for a few days after and feel weird in normal clothing, having worn a costume or “cosplay” for most of the past 72 hours. I forget how to do simple tasks like work and dishes. I miss being surrounded by the people who all seem to know me inside and out without ever having met me before. I miss the all-consuming, no-questions-asked, friendly acceptance that pervades every single con I've ever been to or heard of.

It doesn't matter who or what you are, how you're dressed, what fandom you're in, your sexuality, your race, your religion. None of that matters except one thing: that you treat everyone around you with the same respect you are enjoying. No exceptions to that rule. The thing that everyone who comes into contact with us eventually realizes is we take care of our own. We're like a gigantic family.

I heard a story at a con I attended this past year. The fellow telling the story was recalling a time when he had been standing in line to register at a con. Behind him were a couple guys he described as “con tourists”; regular joes who just wanted to see what all the hype was about. They saw someone in a particularly noticeable cosplay and made some smart remark or other. Everyone in the hall went dead silent and turned to glare at the offender. He’s sure to keep his comments to himself next time.

In some cases, cons are the only place some people have to feel accepted and free. I am lucky enough to live in a group of people who are just as judgement-free as a con typically is, but I know most people do not have that luxury. Some people look forward to con all year and pour all their heart and soul into their cosplays. Cons are extremely important to a lot of people and the organizers know this. One of my favourite cons was started by a group of college friends over five years ago. Now most of them are married, some have moved out of the province, but they have continued to put their con on every year despite all the challenges – partially because they love it, but also because of how important events like theirs is to so many people.

One of my all time favourite things about cons are the instant friendships that are made. You sit next to someone at a panel, you start chatting over an epic piece of merchandise, you are wearing cosplay from the same fandom and BAM, suddenly you're talking to the other person like you've been best friends for life. I have learned so much from these kinds of friendships. I have had fundamental prejudices I didn't even know I held shaken and destroyed from a half-hour's acquaintance.

Con is a magical place where dreams come true, where you can find and be your true self, where you can find love and life-long friends. Con is also a state of mind that I try to carry with me into the “real world”. It's a feeling of wanting to live in harmony with everyone around you, even if it isn't always easy. Someone I met at a panel said it best when he explained the concept of non-judgement to the group. He said “There is no judgement. Internally you may be cringing, but externally you're giving a thumbs-up all around. That's the way it is. Period.” And every day I wake up determined to bring the con sensibility to the world. It won't happen in my lifetime. But maybe, just maybe, if I keep thinking nothing but good about my fellow human beings, maybe my kids will see that. Maybe they'll catch hold of that and tell a friend. Maybe that friend will tell a friend. And slowly, ever so slowly, we will change the world. One geek at a time.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Defeating the Dastardly Ball

            I really need to start writing my blogs before Dungeons and Dragons. Such a fantastic idea; I think I’ll start doing it as soon as I get back on the ball.

            Of course, getting on the ball is the real trick, isn't it? Even harder is to stay on it. Last weekend, after Colleen and I had been talking about how poorly we’d been doing at keeping up our various work and chores, I said to her “Don’t worry! As of Monday, you and me, together, we’re getting on the ball!”

            And it worked...! For the first day and a half. Then Colleen got sick and, as a result, we both slipped back a bit. But we still ended up having a better week than the previous few. Once again, this weekend I said, “As of Monday, we’re getting on the ball!” After all, if a horse bucks you off, you get right back on!

            Naturally, all of this got me to thinking about why it’s so hard to get back into a routine once it’s been broken. The answer seemed pretty obvious – when a routine is broken, a new one is formed and you follow that routine instead. Our brains are wired for routine. We’re creatures of habit.

            That’s an interesting phrase, actually... looking at the rest of the world, aren't all living beings creatures of habit? Pets expect to be fed and exercised at regular times, flocks of birds migrate seasonally and just about every animal I know of follows some sort of routine. Interesting...

            Reminds me of my dad frequently saying humans are pack animals while pointing out groups of cars clustered together on the highway where it’s far safer to keep as much distance between yourself and other cars as possible.

            Where was I...?

            Creatures of habit! Right. Colleen and I are good at setting our routines – you need to be when you work from home. No boss to tell you what to do. Unfortunately, the routines are too easily interrupted – usually by shows. We can be happily working 40-50 hour weeks leading up to a show, but as soon as the event is over we often drop to 15-20 hour weeks. Why? Well, because shows interrupt our fantastic routine and tire us out enough that we feel we deserve a day off. By the end of the day off, a new routine is established and it’s hard work to get back into the old, good routine.

            So, here we are, jumping on the ball, bouncing off and trying again. I think we’ll manage it this week – after all, it’s just in time for another show to interrupt us in another two weeks. Ah, but now we’re one up on that tricky ball! We've caught onto its routine of routine breaking! Now we’re prepared take that ball and practice jumping on and off it until there’s no doubt about who’s in charge of the routines around here! If it throws us off, we can just give it a good kick!

            Then go chasing after it as it goes bouncing off down the hill so we can fetch it back and get back on it.

            Seriously, who writes this stuff? Oh yeah, me...

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

 

Waterproof Ringcrafts

            Today’s blog will likely be short, as I've just gotten home from my second day at the Oxford Renaissance Festival in Woodstock, Ontario, where Colleen and I were selling our chainmaille. We had a fantastic time, but being on my feet for twelve hours straight while wearing chainmaille two days in a row has really worn me out. My legs are threatening to quit, which would make writing on my laptop a bit more difficult.

            This was our first outdoor show, so it was a wonderful and terrifying new experience. It’s very hard to leave core parts of your livelihood outdoors, even when you know security will be on site. For us, our biggest concern was our tent – we bought it for this event and Colleen made a medievalish cover for it.

I’d like to take a moment to elaborate on that; she sewed an entire tent. Out of canvas. Now, think about how big a project that is while I tell you she did it in just three days. The results? We absolutely love it!

            As great as the tent looks, we had no way of knowing how functional it was in regards to, say, rain. The first day of the festival went fantastically with great weather and no problems, but even as we were packing up at night we knew that rain was expected. All we could do was make sure everything we needed to leave in the tent overnight was under the tarp we’d brought and hope that the predicted wind wouldn't tear it free (or blow away out tent, for that matter). Then we closed up our tent and drove away, not knowing what we’d find the next day...

            As a bit of side information, the tent has full walls on all sides that we can put up when we choose, however they are each made of three panels that tie together – this means that each wall has two gaps. These walls, like the roof cover, are made of canvas – not treated to be waterproof. The only waterproof part was the tent’s original cover (hidden under our cover) which we were worried wouldn't function with once our cover was on top.

You can imagine our surprise when we arrived on a rainy morning, after a rainy night, and found the inside of our tent completely dry! Not a blade of grass was wet. The canvas was soaked through, but Colleen’s home made tent had succeeded in keeping out the elements. We were thrilled, even more so when the sun came out in the afternoon and completely dried our tent for us.

            The rest of the event went well, although we had more wind than on the first day and, as a result, we learned important lessons about which of our displays need to be more secure for future outdoor events. All in all this was a wonderful fair (I could watch the live jousting from the back of our tent!) and we had a great time while learning lots and meeting loads of wonderful people (including many friends who dropped by, even some not expecting to see us).

We even managed to pack up and leave right before the thunderstorm hit. Now, that’s what I call a good weekend.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Colleen on Smartphones

            The blogging bug has bitten Colleen, so she’s back again! To anyone who knows her, Colleen being on Smartphones is hardly a surprise, but this time she’s talking about them rather than on them.

There's a lot of truth in the notion that advancements in technology are having a negative impact on our collective health. Kids play Call of Duty instead of catch and talk in chat rooms instead of sitting on a swing at the park. Work has changed from stacking bales of hay in a breezy field to folders of paperwork at a desk. I myself suffer from "texter's neck", a condition marked by pain in the neck ligaments due to prolonged strain on the muscles caused by the tilting of the head down, often observing an incoming text on a cell phone.

We see the effects of technology on our bodies every day.

But, if I may, there are many benefits of technology that we may not even be aware of. I'd like to specifically draw your attention to the highly-coveted Smartphone and the many obscure reasons it has become an integral part of my and many other people's lives.

DISCLAIMER: I am not here to debate the relative merits of one model of phone vs another. Nor am I here to promote one more than another. I do own an iPhone and as such have more experience with the applications available for that device rather than an Android or a BlackBerry, but you will not hear me say any one of them is better than another.

Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you all about my To Do application (app). It's a simple enough concept. You enter some text that reminds you of an event or a chore or a task or something you don't want to forget, then when you wish the app to remind you of that item and how often you want it to repeat. There are many, many different apps that accomplish essentially the same task.

Mine runs my life. I would be completely lost without it. It lays out my morning and evening routines, lists my weekly cleaning duties, reminds me of odd tasks I need to accomplish, ensures my medication is taken on time, it even helps me to remember to make cookies once a month. (Hey, not every To Do item needs to be scrubbing a toilet!) When my last phone was stolen late last year I had practically no idea what to do. And while I do realise my incredible dependence on an electronic device (and conversely, the devastating effect the absence of it has), for me, it is a small price to pay for a well-organised and productive life. Obviously this solution isn't for everyone. For me and my mother-in-law, however, it works very well.

When I decided to take up yoga I considered my options for that exercise type. I could take classes, purchase DVDs, watch podcasts or YouTube videos, look for a yoga app. Then I had an idea. I created a photo album on my phone and added several pictures of yoga poses to it, all found on the Internet. (But that is an entirely different blog.)

Now I had photo memory aids and a specific and custom order for my yoga practice. That kind of full customisation is not something I have found in any app or, obviously, in any video or class. It was a perfect fit for me. I could even set whatever music I wanted while on my mat with my iPod app (the Mission Impossible theme is highly motivating for yoga) and time myself with my stopwatch app to see how long I had practiced that day. The irony of my smart phone helping me become healthier is not lost on me.

A large perk of smart phones is the large array of game apps (many of them free). On our first wedding anniversary, Jonathan and I celebrated with dinner out. The restaurant we chose was packed and we had a forty-five minute wait. We passed the time alternating levels on one of our favourite games. We hung over the shoulder of the gamer of the moment, giving advice.

A philosophy I've had for a very long time is "a laugh shared is a laugh doubled". I believe a friend of mine also has that philosophy. Often at parties you'll see him flicking through his smart phone glancing at pictures he's saved from websites, all of them humorous, or at least he thinks so. He will hold his phone out to others to see the Lolcat or cartoon or amusing play on words, giggling away with them. I love swapping new photos with him.

Not everything about new technology is good, but for me at least, my Smartphone has more than paid for itself in on-time credit card bills and instant tips on money-saving ways to clean a home. And of course you can't put a price on the simple peace of mind that comes from knowing I will not forget to book that doctor's appointment six months from now or to be able to leave the stove's because the phone is always with me and Pachelbel's canon means those double-chocolate cookies are ready!

My (Jonathan’s) conclusion is that new technology can be good or bad, it all depends on how you choose to use it. Cookies are more than acceptable.






 

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Understanding Phobias

            I have often felt that most people don’t understand the term “phobia”. The general meaning is understood – a phobia is a fear. But, if it’s a fear, why not just say “fear” instead of “phobia”?

            The reason is that a phobia is much more than a fear – it is a type of anxiety disorder. Depending on the severity of the phobias, they can be very debilitating. As someone who suffers from a number of them, I would know. That being said, the information I can give you is based off of my own experiences and may or may not reflect those of other people, but in the very least it can give you an idea of what having a phobia is like.

            The very worst part of having a phobia is knowing that it exists, because they are generally irrational fears. With a normal irrational fear, someone can use logic and explain to you how it is irrational and that helps you overcome the fear, but with a phobia, all it can do is make you aware that your response is entirely involuntary. There’s nothing worse than knowing that you can’t control your reaction to something you know you shouldn't be afraid of.

            Perhaps the best way to demonstrate this is with an example. One of my phobias that I discovered when I was a teenager was a fear of heights. But not all heights, no, just a certain type. I could easily jump down from a ten foot balcony or have LARP sword fights with my friends on the angled (and usually slippery) pavilion roofs at the park, but to get up to that roof I had to walk across the narrow sides of two-by-fours which I discovered I could only do if I was holding on to something.

            Now, I know, that seems perfectly logical and is an intelligent safety precaution, which is true, but what struck me was that I actually couldn't move if I wasn't holding on to something. I have an excellent sense of balance and I had every confidence that I could even run across those two-by-fours without falling, but my body refused to move.

            Logic told me I would be safe; I had the confidence and the skill, but I still couldn't do it. This is the difference between a phobia and a fear. Here is a picture of the closest I ever got to defeating that phobia:

            It was taken as part of a series of pictures where I was having LARP dagger fights with my best friend everywhere. Of all the pictures, this was the only one that was posed (including one where we were fighting while standing on either end of a teeter-totter) because I couldn't stay standing up long enough to fight.

            I shouldn't say that logic is entirely useless in regards to phobias. It is wonderful for making them worse. There is one very common mistake that people make when trying to help someone with a phobia, and that is to give them logic. “Why are you afraid of X? Don’t you know that Y, which you have no problem with, has far more bacteria?” To which my response is, “Gee, thanks, now my phobia won’t let me touch X or Y!”

            In fact, being a logical person and having a phobia is probably the worst combination there is. One of my worst phobias is raw meat. Somewhere along the lines, I picked up that raw meat carried all kinds of bad... something. I don’t even know what it is that I'm afraid of, but I know I can’t touch raw meat. Or anything that raw meat touches. Or that that touches. It’s like there’s a force-field.

            Colleen and I went to the local Farmer’s Market a few weeks ago and we bought a couple pounds of bacon. It was nearly a traumatising experience for me and worse for Colleen once I pointed out to her what had happened (she makes every possible effort to not agitate my phobias. Isn't she wonderful?). The lady at the shop handled the bacon with her bare hands, which she then used to wrap the bacon before putting it on the counter. To clarify this in my phobia’s terminology, the bacon contaminated the lady’s hands, which contaminated the paper that was now, by my expectation, supposed to be preventing the bacon from contaminating anything else.

Good job there.

            Moving on, Colleen paid the woman, who took the money and gave change with the same contaminated hands. Taking the contaminated change, Colleen’s hands became contaminated, as did her wallet and everything in it when she put the money inside. Then, on the way home, Colleen brushed her hair out of her eyes with her contaminated hands...

            And that is how phobia logic works! It took every ounce of my self control and mental re-routing to stop my phobia from preventing me from handling money ever again (because I don’t know how much of it has been passed through hands that have handled raw meat). To be fair, that’s a pretty powerful phobia, but it should at least give you an idea what having one is like (if you don’t already have one).

            So, what can you do to help someone with a phobia if logic doesn't work? The best suggestion I have is to leave them to take care of themselves and to respect that their fears are rooted so deeply that it is more than a fear – it is an involuntary, often paralysing, reaction. People who know they have phobias know what precautions to take to prevent them from being too problematic (such as marrying a wonderful person who’s willing to eliminate all those spiders that want to kill them). In my experience, all you can do by trying to make the phobias go away is to make them worse.

            I hope this has helped you to understand phobias a bit better and that, if you have phobias, it hasn't made them worse.

            To that one despicable person out there who just opened their wallet and started rubbing all their money on a raw steak, I hope that whatever it is that my phobia insists I’m afraid of gets you instead of me.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Colleen on Food

Today's blog is brought to you by my wife and co-author Colleen regarding one of her favourite subjects: Food.

I've always enjoyed cooking. But even longer than that I've enjoyed eating. At some point I discovered that food wasn't just a phenomenon that occurred when mom was around; I had control! Once that transition happened there was no looking back. I started with Mr. Noodles and then the rest is a blur until the present day. I take on any cooking challenge and I defeat most foods that I come across. The majority of the time when I fail in the kitchen it's because I went free-form, sans recipe or the recipe I did use was faulty. As egotistical as that sounds I swear it's the honest truth.

Cooking always seemed to come naturally to me. At age ten I broached the subject of home made bread with my mother. Time and again she had attempted this feat and her efforts had always turned out “smelling of beer” she told me and as a result she was fearful of teaching her young daughter. We tried anyway and my mother was astonished at the result. Not only was the braided loaf pretty as a picture but there was not a whiff of beer to be smelled. I try to tackle every culinary challenge with the same fearlessness I had at ten.

Cooking will never be a chore for me. Each aspect of it is a delight. I wish I could wave a magic wand and infuse other people with this love I have because I know too many of us dread entering a kitchen. Of course when you've been obligated to perform this traditionally “womanly” task since age fourteen, it's a little hard to find the fun in it after sixty odd years.

I also adore giving back to the people I love. I regularly baked brownies for my amateur theatre group, cookies for my live action role play group, innumerable meals for my family, casseroles for ailing relatives. My knee-jerk reaction to any situation is food. A few years ago I heard that my husband's grandmother had fallen and broken a hip. Instantly I asked “Should I cook something for grandpa?” And nothing makes friends faster than hearing “These cookies are great! Who made them?” One Christmas I decided to give an uncle the twelve days of cookies. I ended up wrapping a box weighing over thirteen pounds, of just cookies. The joy of eating is very seriously rivalled by the joy of giving and sharing a meal.

My husband has told me several times that what I cook is the best of its kind he's ever had or that he doesn't normally like whatever it is but when I make it he can't stop eating it. He once told me that my deep-fried “potato thingies” (a mashed potato French fry based on a Julia Child recipe) were the single most delicious thing he'd ever eaten. He's also accused me of trying to fatten him up with all my cooking. Feeding him is the greatest pleasure I have in an activity I already deeply adore.

I manage to infuse almost every aspect of my life with food. One of my duties as Jonathan's co-author is to assist in the descriptions of his writing. When he draws a blank he will leave [DESCRIPTION HERE] in the manuscript and I will add my imagination in the form of clothing, hair colour, fireworks displays, meadows of flowers and even a chocolate chip cookie. One chapter in his first book found the main character trying chocolate for the first time courtesy of a cook, who I was given free reign to do with as I pleased. Of course, there is no better way to introduce anyone to chocolate than with this time-honoured treat. I went to town describing how a freshly baked, warm, chewy, sweet chocolate chip cookie feels, tastes and smells. After that, the minor cook character earned a larger role in the book.

I hope to someday publish a cookbook and share my first love with the world at large, but for now I have the joy of keeping a relatively small corner of the globe happy and well fed.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

 

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.