Laughing at the Pain

            It has occurred to me that in our culture there is a distinct link between humor and bullying. Or, rather, a lot of out humor comes from one form of bullying or another – and it just might be that this leads to bullying for the sake of humor.

            Let’s start with the most obvious one: slapstick. This is a type of humor based entirely around pain being caused to other people in humorous ways – such as accidentally getting struck from behind by someone carrying a long plank and getting pushed headfirst into a bucket of whitewash. Although a more modern version would be the videos of people accidentally hurting themselves that make up a large portion of the viral photos on the internet. We watch these things, and we laugh, believing it is harmless – either it was staged, and no one was really hurt, or it was some hurt to someone in the past and it wouldn’t have been posted on the internet if it wasn’t okay to laugh at them.

            Is it so harmless, though? We are witnessing pain, and laughing. More than that, we go on to share it with others – family, friends, children – and encourage them to laugh as well. It seems to me that this could very well desensitize people to the pain of others, and even encourage violence – because it’s funny. Especially when it happens to someone we think deserves it.

            Teasing is another one – it’s very common for people to playfully tease those they are close with. Again, it’s often harmless – or at least meant to be. But sometimes it goes too far. Sometimes the person being teased doesn’t even mention they’ve been hurt, so no one knows that it’s gone too far. Other times, the person says something and proceeds to get teased for having been hurt. We cause pain or embarrassment, then we laugh. It might not be so bad if we kept it to ourselves, but we then pass it on to the most impressionable people around us, who carry it on and spread it. Causing pain in certain ways then becomes synonymous with amusement, and leads to bullying.

            We can see more examples in the comedies we watch. We have shows that normalize making fun of certain cultures. How often do you see nerds being made fun of for being weird? How often do you see jocks being made fun of for being stupid? How often do you see mental illnesses being used for comic relief? And we take all of that back out into the world and spread it around – because it’s funny, and if it’s funny, it can’t really be bullying, can it? Meanwhile mental illness is stigmatized and people find themselves ostracised because of their interests.

            I think we all need to take a very good look at the things we find funny and consider, why are we laughing? More than that, we need to consider the harm that might be caused by passing this specific sense of humor on to younger generations – keeping in mind that they won’t necessarily understand the subtleties of the joke.

            Above all, we need to ask, is this humor, or is it bullying?

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

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If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

The Life and Times of Duel Love

            Today I shall share with you the tale of the only play I've ever written and how, after sitting dormant for seven years, it managed to find its way onto a stage.

            The story starts in 2006 when I was in my fifth and final year of high school, during my grade 11 drama class (I came to drama late in my school career, as my optional courses went to music classes first). It was at this point in time that we were assigned a play to write. I don’t remember all of the parameters we were required to follow, but the play had to be one act (30 minutes or shorter), have 3 scenes, 4 actors, take place in a realistic setting and convey some sort of message. We were also encouraged to not attempt to write a comedy because of how difficult humour is to write.

            Well, I've always been one for following the rules, but I've also always been one for bending said rules to suite my needs. Being told I needed a realistic setting was the first thing I needed to work with – after all, even then everything I wrote was fantasy. So, I got as close as I could and set it in medieval times.

            As for making the play a comedy, well, the plot that jumped into my mind required it. Thus, Duel Love, a play about two knights having a sword duel over a woman (the fairest in the land) was born, written with a very British style of humour.

            After all the plays were written, one scene from each of them was read to the class and we voted on four of them that were to be performed. Duel Love came out on top and, as a result, I ended up directing it for a summative assignment.

            The play came together wonderfully – even though I had at least one of my actors absent from all but two of the rehearsals. Then, on the day of the performance (which had been delayed by a couple snow days) one of my actresses didn't show up until a couple minutes before we had to go on stage. And, of course, the one time an actor forgot his line, I had managed to lose my copy of the script on the opposite side of the stage, and the two knights just stood there with their swords crossed, staring blankly at each other until I managed to remember the line and call it out.

            In spite of the hiccoughs, the performance was wonderful – everything I could have hoped for with my play, or so I thought. Then the play was put aside, only to be read periodically when someone in my house stumbled across the script.

            That might have been the end of Duel Love – I hadn't even read it in three or more years when, last summer, I received a message on Facebook from someone I’d never heard of before. It turned out to be the sister of one of my play’s actors, who happens to be the director at Maybles’ Productions – a small theatre company. She told me that she’s been fruitlessly searching for the playwright who went to school with her brother and had written Duel Love. The script had been accepted as part of a one act play festival, but now she needed permission to use it – if I was the playwright, of course.

            Well, how could I possibly say no to that? I informed her that she’d found the right person and she was welcome to use the scrip. I was thanked profusely and she told me that she’d loved the script from the day her brother brought it home and was excited to finally be able to perform it. She also asked if I’d be able to come to see the play – as if I’d miss it.

            In the months leading up to the play, I began to get a little nervous about a few things I was being told as the rehearsals progressed. First was that my script had been edited – something no writer likes to hear without having a say in it. Then the play started getting promoted as Monty Python and Princess Bride inspired – something that I took as a compliment, but didn't really see until I was told that the cast had workshopped the script and added a bunch of references.

            At this point, I only had one thought in my head: “What have they done to my play!?” I could have stepped up and said something – requested that they send me a copy of their improved script for approval – but I chose to hold my tongue. I knew there was a chance that they’d turned the play into something I wouldn't like, but I also knew that their changes could be fantastic. So, I waited until the performance (a week and a half ago) to find out.

            Now, one thing that is important to know about writing comedy is that, by the time you’re done, your jokes aren't very funny to you anymore because of how often you've "heard" them. An additional tidbit of information is that I'm not much of a laugh-out-loud person. Those, together, should tell you how well the play went when I say I was doubled over laughing for the entire performance.

            It was fantastic! The changes I was so worried about only made the play better, and the actors played their roles far beyond my expectations of how the characters had been written. It was truly incredible to see my words come to life as they did, and to hear the surrounding audience laughing along with me.

            When the awards were announced, I was thrilled to hear that Duel Love had earned Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor and Best Production. Congratulations, cast and crew, and thank you for taking my words and crafting a masterpiece.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.