Stepping Up

            An interesting reoccurring occurrence in my life is that, while I very strongly dislike being in a position of leadership, I frequently seem to find myself filling a leadership role. Be it for work or play, it seems like I always end up as one of the people making the decisions – a very unfortunate job for a chronic fence-sitter.

            My most recent of such experiences took place over this weekend, but to understand just how often this has happened, we really need to go back quite a ways. I don’t know precisely when it started, but the first I can think of chronologically was in my highschool choir. In grade 9, there was a decent sized selection of male singers, but most of them were in their last year – including the one that informally led them simply by being such a strong singer. The following year, there were only 4 males in the 30-or-so person choir, and I happened to be the one who stepped into the empty leadership role – though I was thankfully replaced for part of the year when teachers were invited to join. However, the mantle fell back to me the next year, and eventually led to me being in the smaller jazz choir and even performing one song where I was the only person on the melody and everyone else was basically a back-up-singer.

            Also in my highschool years, I joined Amtgard, a Live Action Roleplaying Game. Three months in, I ran in the election for the role of the records-keeper and treasurer because at the time the records weren’t being kept up to date, and I held that role – which also assisted in other aspects of running the group – for three years straight (six terms), and then took six months in the primary leadership role.

After highschool, when I got a job, it quickly became known that if someone needed extra help, or called in sick, I could always be relied upon to come in – to the point where I had to arrange to be the last person called, because it was known that if everyone else said no, I could be relied upon to say yes because, well, someone had to step up and do it. I became one of the primary trainers for new employees, and ended up holding titles like crew leader and shift manager even though I had no interest in them.

            Then I started my own business. If I have to elaborate on that, you should do some research into what running a business entails.

            Over the course of July, I joined a community of people awaiting the release of a game called Chronicles of Elyria. I joined a Kingdom, then a Duchy, then a specific County, and I began working with the Count on helping with organization and lore writing for both the County and Duchy, making it clear all along that I had no interest in a leadership role. Then my Count went ahead and named me Chancellor of our county which essentially means I can speak for him when he’s not around to do so, both in the County and the Duchy.

            Then, this past weekend, an event launched for the Elyria community which involves a mini-game that will be running for the rest of the summer that allows people to control some of the lore for the world and – remarkably – affords people (like me) who haven’t already bought into the game to earn a free copy of the game for when it releases. From the moment the game was released, it was clear a great deal of teamwork and organization would be required, and my Kingdom quickly got to work on that. However, I soon noticed that everyone doing the organizing had a game package – and since the game works differently for those without game packages, I stepped up to share my knowledge and help out. The next day, some people in my Duchy were talking about Duchy-specific organization and, well, no one else was stepping up to the plate, so I did so and laid out the groundwork.

            And then it occurred to me that, once again, I was falling into leadership roles. So, I started looking back at my history, wondering what the cause was for this. Why was it that someone like me, who would much rather sit back and silently watch, who has a very hard time making decisions, and who really dislikes being a leader – why did I keep becoming a leader?

            The answer, it turns out, is remarkably simple. No one else was doing it, and so I stepped up to the task. Because someone had to do it. In each and every case, something needed to be done, and I did it because no one else was.

            And I realized that a leader is exactly that. Someone who steps up and takes the reins when no one else does. It isn’t something that makes me happier about being doomed to leadership, but it at least makes me more accepting of my fate.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Introvert Surprise Party

            As a reclusive introvert, I’ve never seen the appeal of surprise parties. Colleen, on the other hand, has always wanted one – although, like me, she isn’t really much of a party person. So, I came up with a clever solution. It does require some lucky circumstances for it to play out properly, but here it is: My instructions on how to throw an introverted surprise party.

1.      1. Do not plan a party. Parties are terribly dull things.

2.      2. Wait for the party’s recipient to make social plans with the type of friends they would want invited to a party. It can be just a simple get-together, or perhaps plans for some form of activity (such as playing Dungeons & Dragons).

3.      3. Find a good time, such as the night before the get-together, to sneakily by a cake. Hide it somewhere where it won’t be found before the not-a-party. Leaving it in a car is a good option, if possible – especially if you can conveniently leave something else in the car that will give you a good excuse to go out and get the cake.

4.      4. On the day of the party, wait for the appropriate time to reveal that this is, in fact, a party. To do this, you will require the cake. It may be beneficial to move the cake to an indoors hiding place, as candles don’t necessarily fare that well outside.

5.      5. Sneak to the cake’s hiding place, insert and light candles, then quietly approach the gathering of people from a direction that the attendees will spot you before the party’s recipient does.

6.      6. Wait patiently for the guests to notice you’re holding a flaming cake in plain view.

7.      7. Join in the singing when the guests inevitably start.

8.      8. Surprise!

9.      9. Continue on with the get-together plans as if nothing were different – except now there’s cake. After all, why spoil perfectly good plans by changing them?

And, thus, you have created a perfect, introverted surprise party so thoroughly that no one except you even knew it was a party. Pretty surprising, right?

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Camera Shy

            As I worked on starting my YouTube channel, I encountered something I never had before. Camera shyness. It’s something that seems like it would suit me – as I’m extremely shy and introverted in the first place – but this was more than I would have expected. It was – literally – paralyzing.

            When I set up to film for the first time, I sat down in front of the camera and... froze. I knew what I wanted to say, I’d run some tests earlier in the week without problems, but now that I was filming something I was actually going to show people, I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even reach out to press the record button.

            Now, I’ve experienced stage fright before, albeit in a roundabout way. I’ve been performing from a very young age – I believe I sang my first solo at the age of five, I became a semi-professional clown somewhere around ten, which later transitioned into being a magician, and, while I quit those around the age of twelve, I went on to be in a number of school choirs, bands, plays, and musicals.

            Though all of that, I never really felt nervous or afraid. Yet, the nerves were there. I only ever noticed them when I was singing a solo, and it took me a while to identify it, because I didn’t feel any different than normal. I merely trembled – such a small amount of a tremble that I’m fairly certain the audiences never even noticed.

            Yet there I was – sitting in front of an inanimate object, unable to move or speak. I couldn’t understand why – and I still can’t. After performing in front of a live audience, what’s so hard about performing in front of a camera? With a live performance, if something goes wrong, you just keep going as if it never happened and hope no one notices. On camera, you just say the line over again and edit out the parts you don’t like. It’s far easier.

            So, what was the problem? Was it that it was a new experience? Was it the permanence of what I was creating? Was it the absence of audience (it is rather difficult to talk to a device as if it were a person)? Was I just not ready yet? I doubt I’ll ever know.

            Obviously, I overcame the camera shyness. Not that day, though. I gave up and left it for a couple days before tying again. This time, I was still nervous, but not so much that I couldn’t record. And each subsequent week of filming, the feeling has faded a little more, to a point where it is now nearly nonexistent and I’ve almost forgotten there was a time when it was impossible for me to film.

            Now, here I am, having just completed my sixth video and reminiscing about that fist shaky start. The message in this story? Perseverance. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.