Squeakers the Black-Ops Mouse

            You may remember that some time ago, I told you about how spider assassins want me dead. Well, it seems they’ve upped their game. They hired Squeakers, the black-ops mouse.

            It all started at 5:00 am last Wednesday. I awoke to this scrabbling-scratching sound. Never one to jump to conclusions, I waited and listened carefully. The sound came again. It sounded exactly like the sound they use for unseen rodents in movies. The third time I heard the sound, I was convinced and I woke my wife to inform her we had something skittering around our bedroom.

            We turned on the light to search, but couldn’t find the intruder. We did, however, find confirmation that there was, indeed, a mouse in our bedroom. Squeakers had left a calling card in the middle of my bedside table, not a foot and a half from where my sleeping head had been a moment before.

            That was when I realized that Squeakers was no ordinary mouse. No. The sounds that came in the middle of the night, in our bedroom where we feel safe enough to sleep. The dropping, placed so perfectly to assure us that those sounds were real, not a figment of imagination or the result of branches brushing the house on a windy night. These were deliberate actions, intended to instil terror. Clearly, Squeakers had to be a black-ops mouse, skilled in the use of asymmetric warfare.

            Since the spider assassins have unsuccessfully sought my death for years, it was easy to guess that they were the ones who sent Squeakers. Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep the rest of the night. Squeakers was an expert. Every time I came close to drifting off to sleep, there came a sound of one sort or another. Colleen somehow managed to sleep through it – but then, she can sleep through anything, whereas I’ve been woken up by someone silently looking into my bedroom before.

            Well, the next night was a little worse. My mother-in-law (living in the other half of the house) told us she had mousetraps, but with it being so close to Christmas she hadn’t gotten around to setting it up. The sounds were less frequent this time, but I was too tense to get any sleep until the sky started to brighten with the coming of morning. Even with then, I doubt I got even two hours of fitful sleep.

            That day, the trap was set. It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, every creature was stirring, including the mouse. From downstairs, I heard the mouse scurrying in the ceiling well before going to bed. Yet, when I did go to bed, I was so tired from the previous two nights (and secure in the knowledge that the only food available for the black-ops mouse was bait), I dropped right off to sleep. Until...

            SnapThump! A sound woke me up at 4:00am. The trap, perhaps? Indeed, when we shone a light down the hole in the floor (it was extremely obvious how the mouse was entering our room), it was clear that the trap had been set off. It didn’t look like Squeakers was in it, though. It seemed like the cunning black-ops mouse had gotten away.

            I managed a fitful half-sleep the rest of the night. In the morning, I declared that in spite of getting such poor sleep for the past three nights, I was sort of glad Squeakers had survived – and received a Christmas dinner, to boot. Of course, later, when the trap was actually checked, there was Squeakers – a mouse small enough to be missed.

            It’s nice to be able to sleep soundly through the night again, but I can’t help feeling sorry for Squeakers. We suspect that this talented black-ops mouse was quite young, separated from his/her family when they were chased out during recent renovations. Lost, alone and unable to find food, Squeakers wandered through the foreign upstairs of the house, seeking the means to survive. There, Squeakers fell under the influence of the spider assassins who, ultimately, led him/her to his/her demise.

            Here’s to you, Squeakers! The most talented black-ops mouse that ever there was. You may no longer be with us, but your memory shall live on – thanks to the internet.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Deathstar the Christmas Tree

            Today I shall share with you the story of our first Christmas tree, since 'tis the season.

            For those of you who've follow this blog, you’ll know that over the spring and summer, Colleen and I were involved in some extensive renovations to convert her parents’ house into two separate units – one for us and one for them. I don’t think I mentioned it before, but we actually did move over the summer as well.

            Anyway, Colleen went out hunting Christmas trees with her family, only looking for one for them since we don’t really have space for one. However, while they were out, they came across what can only be described as a spherical tree and Colleen fell in love with it. So, they grabbed it as well as their own tree.

            As it turned out, this particular tree had been targeted by an insect that specifically eats the tops (and only the tops) of evergreen trees. Since the tree was a write-off anyway, it was given for free (with thanks for saving them the work of getting rid of it themselves).

            The tree was promptly brought home and suspended from the ceiling – yes, that’s right, it’s hanging from the ceiling – with a container for water attached to its stump. Today, we finally got it decorated with our combination of traditional and geeky decorations.

            So, without further ado, I give you the first Christmas tree of our own Colleen and I have had – Deathstar, the spherical Christmas tree. It’s a shame that no future tree is likely to compare.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

The Evolution of a Family Christmas

            Writing this, I've just gotten home from the most unique family Christmas gathering I've ever been to, so I thought I’d share my experience with you.

            This was a family Christmas for my mom's side of the family (plus a wonderful woman my mother’s family had adopted as a grandmother because she had no family in the country), where I am the second oldest grandson. Over the years, I've watched many traditions and seen many changes. At first, we got together every Christmas Eve at my grandparents’ house. After the Christmas dinner (which was always fantastic), we’d go to the church service. When we returned to the house, we’d have our Christmas Pie – this is made with gifts for each person, on ribbons with their names, all wrapped up in a bundle by my grandmother. Everyone takes their ribbon, we all pull at the same time and the first gifts of the year burst out of the Pie.

            With the children occupied by the toys they just received, the Christmas Story was then read from the Bible. After that, the grandchildren were called upon to perform various musical pieces we had prepared. Then presents would be handed out – my grandfather would pull the presents from under the tree and hand them to a grandchild to deliver. Then everyone would unwrap presents at once. My grandmother always sewed pyjamas for the grandchildren, and the younger ones changed into them before going home that night.

            It was always a fun time, and the family slowly grew every couple years as new grandchildren were born. At some point, we stopped going to the church service because there were too many fidgety children. As my cousins grew older, the job of delivering presents passed down to them. After many years, my adopted great-grandmother passed away (after a full, 100 year life), so was no longer there with us.

            Then my grandparents moved to a condo, so the celebration moved to the homes of my parents, aunts and uncles, rotating each year. Much was different, but still we had our Christmas Pie, followed by the reading of the Christmas Story, music from the grandchildren, then gifts delivered by the grandchildren.

            One year, a friend of my aunt’s family joined us. I actually don’t know her story, but I believe she has no local family. She has been with us every year since and has been accepted as part of the family – she even gets a present in the Christmas Pie!

The family started slowly growing again as we grandchildren started dating. When a significant other came to the gathering, they were always welcomed with open arms (and my grandmother always managed to fit a present for them into the Pie). Of course, with dating age comes a certain amount of self-consciousness and less free time, so, one by one, the grandchildren stopped preparing music to perform. An effort was still made, but it was getting weaker each year.

            The next big change was when we had to move the date from Christmas Eve. As the grandchildren started to work, it became harder and harder to get the whole family together - especially once my mom was ordained as a minister and had her own Christmas eve services to perform. Still, we managed it. It wasn't the same day anymore, but it stayed the same celebration.

            This year saw another big change, followed by many complications. My grandparents moved to a retirement home and, shortly afterwards my grandfather began having health issues that have had him in and out of hospitals for the past several months. As he became less mobile, we planned to have our family Christmas at the retirement home – unfortunately, last week my grandfather had to return to the hospital.

            Did my family let that stop us? No. We had our Christmas dinner at the retirement home as planned, with twenty of us there! My grandmother, six aunts and uncles, six grandchildren, four significant others and three family friends with no local family to have Christmas with (and a partridge in a pear tree).

            After the dinner, we all packed up and went to the hospital with a Christmas dinner plate for my grandfather. We were able to take over a section of a closed cafeteria – which was lucky, because there wouldn't have been enough room for all of us in any of our houses. A few decorations were put up, my grandfather was wheeled down to us (my cousin draped tinsel over his wheelchair) and we opened our Christmas Pie (it was very big this year!). Then the Christmas Story was read. None of the grandchildren had prepared music, so we went on to the gifts – delivered (mostly) by my youngest cousins. After presents were opened, one of the family friends looked up carols on his smart phone for one of my cousins to play on the electric keyboard my parents had brought along, bringing the family’s traditional music to the evening as everyone joined in with the singing.

            It was truly wonderful to see how everything came together. I know that, by the time grandchildren have jobs, a lot of families have given up on getting together every year. Not so with my family – we didn't let a little thing like my grandfather being in the hospital get in the way of our Christmas traditions. I think this year’s family gathering will be one I’ll always remember, because it shows what lengths people will go to for something they feel is important.

            So, I’d like to wish you a very [this space represents whatever seasonal greeting you find least offensive] and I hope that your holiday season will be as great as it can be.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.