How To Make Friends

            I’ve often heard people say that they have no idea how to make friends. So, I’ve decided to write a brief guide based on my observations of the new friend Colleen and I made this past weekend at the Royal Medieval Faire.

            This guide really only consists of one step: be mysterious. Not in an aloof, dark, mysterious stranger way, but passive way. It’s easier than it sounds. A lot of people are quite happy and eager to talk about themselves and their lives; all you need to do is constrain yourself to only giving occasional pieces of information about yourself. Preferably the most interesting points in your life – and without context, if possible.

            The best way for me to explain is with the story of our new friend. When he first appeared under our tent (where we were selling chainmaille, of course) at the faire, Colleen complimented him on the awesome coat he was wearing. He stuck around for a little, chatting and joining in a conversation we were having with friends from Colleen’s homeschooling group. At some point the style of homeschooling (called un-schooling, which focuses on teaching kids what they’re interested in) was mentioned, and it turned out that he’d also been raised that way.

            I also noticed, while he was there, that he had a piece of string around a finger that led down to what I believed to be the hilt of a dagger hidden in his sleeve. Very interesting, I thought, but at that point I didn’t know him well enough to comment upon it. Eventually he left, going to enjoy the rest of the faire.

            About an hour from the end of the event, he came back to chat with us some more (he no longer hat he dagger in his sleeve). The three of us talked about all kinds of topics, discovering we had lots of common ground. Every now and then he’d mention something about his own life, but he didn’t go on about it. They were just interesting points that made me more curious about him.

            The first thing he mentioned was that he’d only been in Canada for two weeks. Because he had an unfamiliar accent, I took that to mean he had just immigrated, but he clarified that he was native to Canada, but had been travelling in Europe for the past nine months. His accent, as it turned out, was technically a speech impediment as it was unique to him, a couple of his siblings (out of seven) and some guy from a fishing village who deliberately changed the way he spoke so he wouldn’t be associated with others from his village.

            At some point he mentioned how, while in Europe he’d climbed a castle while wearing an Assassins’ Creed hoodie. Later he confirmed that, yes, he can actually do parkour (which is awesome). At another time, when I asked about what kind of work he does, he didn’t directly answer, but did say he was going back to the old job from before he was travelling – then told us about how he’d had to get security clearance first and his option (which he didn’t take) to request “Top Secret” security clearance.

            He ended up staying after the show and chatted while we packed up. He helped where he could (we have a system and it’s hard to fit someone else in), most notably holding a couple bags for about 30 minutes to keep them off the wet ground. That in itself doesn’t sound all that remarkable, but these bags each weighed 30-40lbs and he had them hanging from his forearms, elbows bent, and he didn’t even show any strain from the weight.

            It was at this point that I said to Colleen, loudly enough for him to hear, that he’d had a dagger concealed in his sleeve (he was very surprised that I’d noticed it), he’d just spent close to a year in Europe, he could do parkour, he was impressively strong and he needed security clearance for the job the conveniently hadn’t mentioned what it was. Clearly he was a spy.

            From there, we all had a great time, putting together the snippets he’d told us about to prove he was a spy. He denied being one, of course, although he would neither confirm nor deny being an assassin. He even went so far to point out that the name he gave us might not actually be his real name.

            We had a blast, but I still don’t know what it is he actually does. I’m very curious, and therefore I have no choice but to be his friend so I can find out.

            And there you have it. The best way to make friends is to be mysterious. Make people curious about you so they’ll have to spend time around you to find out more.

            Also, be a spy and wear an epic coat to serve as an icebreaker.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Workshopping with Homeschoolers

            Last Monday I had a delightful experience. My wife and I taught a chainmaille workshop for a homeschooling group.

            When I was first asked to run this workshop, I asked the mother who’d suggested the idea to have the kids look through my website to pick projects they’d like to learn. The reply I got was that they wanted to learn the techniques and be allowed to make what they wanted after that.

            This, in itself, was a bit of a challenge, since it’s hard to plan for such an unstructured lesson – particularly for materials. However, I also understood the benefit of allowing the children free reign with what they created.

            So I went and I taught a group of eight (including one of the mothers and the curator of the museum we were at) the basics, then stuck around to teach more to those who wanted to learn more patterns and help the others with what they were making on their own. It was a wonderful time – it felt like I was there having fun with a group of friends. It was also great to teach people so eager to learn.

            What impressed me most, however, was the only member of the group who didn't really take to the craft. He struggled with the pattern, but still gave it a good try. Instead of throwing a fit, like many kids his age would (and I could see the emotions that would accompany that written on his face), he tried his best and gave up when it became too frustrating.

            In response to this, where many mothers would scold him and tell him to keep trying, his mother thanked him for giving it a try and doing his best and gave no objection to him returning to playing with Lego (what they’d been doing before the workshop).

            I think this demonstrates one of the major advantages to homeschooling – there is a much greater level of respect and understanding between the parents and their children, since they spend so much more time together. Children are also encouraged to learn and ask questions, but not forced to learn if they don’t want to, which makes them more willing to learn. They even enjoy it! Whereas children in the school system usually rebel and take a great dislike for learning.

            I wonder if there is something our educational system can learn from this. Perhaps there’s away to teach children in large groups while respecting who they are instead of trying to change them to fit the system. It might even make a friendlier society at large.

            Oh, did I mention how polite homeschooled children are? At the end of the workshop, that same boy who had trouble learning made a point of coming up to me and thanking me for coming to teach. I'm looking forward to my next workshop with the group very much.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.