Lonely Pets Club

            My in-laws were away this weekend, leaving me in my usual position as pet-sitter. Now I feel compelled to tell you about this atypical group of pets, because they really are quite amusing.

            First, there’s the dog. At least, genetically he’s a dog – we suspect that he may identify as something else. Possibly a sheep. Many dogs, he’s afraid of thunder, but he also takes it a step further – he’s afraid of rain. And just about any sounds, really, which is probably why he almost never barks. He’s very sweet and friendly, though, and is very good about not jumping up on people who have just come into the house – instead, he prances over and grins at them, truly happy to see them.

            When his family is away, I always get a little concerned about him. He misses them so much that he stops eating for several days – except for the treats he gets every time he comes inside from his walks. Of course, I use every a little loosely here; he usually gets a treat when he comes in, but I sometimes feel compelled to do a little training.

You see, my in-laws came into dog ownership later than many people do and, as a result, they aren’t as firm with the dog as they could be. Therefore, when going for walks, he’s used to his humans stopping and waiting for him every time he wants to sniff a tree or roll in the grass. Having grown up with a dog, I have an expectation that the walk keeps moving, and therefore the treat gets denied if I’m kept out in the cold too long. He learned very quickly that I would tolerate nothing more than on very short roll in the grass, and he may even have noticed that he got more treats when he didn’t hold me up at all.

            Then there’s the cat. The latest, and currently only, in a string of abandoned cats the family took in, he is always a bit “my way or the highway”. In other words, he’s a cat. Yet, once the family has been away for a day, he starts begging for attention. As I’m allergic to cats, he doesn’t get it from me, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. He spends the time I’m in the house following me around, meowing and pointedly rubbing against various objects and making me feel generally guilty about my allergy.

            He has, however, given up on trying to sneak out of the house. Due to tome feral cats he’s feuding with, he has been relegated to being an indoor cat, much to his chagrin. I think that’s his greatest sorrow about my in-laws being away. He’s used to a house full of people who are used to him, so they don’t pay him that much attention, making it relatively easy to slip through a closing door (luckily he can be summoned back into the house with the shaking of a treat container – which is ridiculous; I mean, he’s a cat! Cat’s can’t be summoned like dogs!). He has long since learned that this doesn’t work with me. He doesn’t even try anymore. But he does watch me very closely, waiting for me to slip up...

            And, finally, there’s my sister-in-law’s bunny. Now, apparently this bunny is pure evil and hates everyone other than my sister-in-law. It certainly seems that way when she’s brought out in public. She’s certainly very skitterish and ant-social. This is common knowledge.

            Yet, when the family away, she becomes the sweetest bunny in the world. When I check on her, she rushes right over to see me – she doesn’t cringe in corners or kick aggressively as her reputation would have you believe. In fact, she’s so happy to see me that she hops in circles!

            I guess it just goes to show that animals miss their families as much as they are missed. Except, perhaps, the bunny. It is entirely possible she’s just luring me into a false sense of security, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

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Allergies Bad

            Well, today’s blog will likely be short, as my eyes are so irritated by pollen I’m having trouble focusing (we won’t even mention my nose). Really, allergies are one of the most frustrating and useless functions a body can have.

            I did do a bit of quick research on the function of allergies, and it confirmed what’s been bouncing around in my head. Allergies are, basically, the body reacting to something harmless as if it were a dreadful toxin. The theories about why we have allergies range from part of our immune system having nothing better to do (because what it was meant for is no longer necessary) to the idea that they’re fighting off minor toxins we aren’t aware of, and that some people’s immune systems handle better.

            Either way, the only results I’ve seen from allergies is making people miserable. I, myself, am ‘lucky’ enough to get hit by two allergy seasons – usually one timed perfectly (when I was in school) to interfere with exams and the other timed to make a wonderful first impression in the new school year (I mean, really, what kid doesn’t want to be leaking mucus their first week or two of school?).

            Surely there was some function that allergies served in the past, but really, we could do without them now. There are enough problems in the world without our bodies being hypochondriacs.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Aren't Allergies Fun?

            Allergy season has come again. Funny, isn't it, how there are multiple allergy seasons? It’s a little unfair, too, to those of us who suffer from them.

            I've had a myriad of minor allergies since I was very young. I remember lying awake some nights, hardly able to breathe because my nose was congested and my throat was closing on me. When I was tested for allergies, the tests showed I had a sensitivity to... well, just about everything. No serious allergies, for which I'm grateful, but a minor sensitivity to just about everything in the natural world – grass, trees, pollen, dust, cats, perfumes, milk, wheat... I don’t even know everything that was on the list, it was so long.

            Luckily for me, spending several years on a rotation diet and growing older have lessened the severity of my allergies, but every now and then they hit me – and hard. In the past week I've been sneasing regularly, with litters of 3-15 sneezes at a time. I've single-handedly gone through three boxes kleenexes in a week.

            I've always felt that the timing of allergy seasons was notoriously unfair as well. I mean, the first one of the year is springtime, and it usually isn't too bad, but it meant that my nose was running and making me feel miserable for the first good weather of the year.

            The second season hits in late June. The end of the school year. Have you ever tried to write exams with your nose dripping onto the paper? Naturally, the third season arrives around now – just about the right time to go back to school. It was many years that I sat through the first couple weeks of classes, trying to discreetly wipe my nose (blowing my nose was out of the question, as I've always made it a point to be as silent as possible when around other people).

            Throw into the mix any colds that could be caught during the winter... well, I needn't say more.

            So, as I sit here blowing my nose and trying not to rub my eyes that are so itchy I want to gouge them out, I can’t help thinking about all the other people out there suffering as I am (or worse). To them, all I can do is tell them the same thing that the doctor told my father-in-law when my sister-in-law swallowed a dime when she was a baby (there was no good way to say that): This, too, shall pass. (Don't look at me; it wasn't my joke.)

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.