Bargains

Of Dice and Glen is a story being written following D&D 5th Edition rules and using Minecraft as the battle mat (and to set the scene). Each of the two writers control their own characters and share the job of Dungeon Master (controlling the environment, story, monsters and background characters). As a result, neither of us has any clue of what's going on or where this is going. So, let's have fun!

This story is split between episodes being posted on the second Monday of every month. You can find the first episode here and the previous episode here.


Of Dice and Glen Episode 14: Bargains

Looking from her dragonborn friend to this new and fascinating figure, Luna frowned slightly.

“Go back and talk to the short one,” she said quietly to Shaddar. “Lemme try.”

“It’s no use,” Shaddar grumbled. “Drow would probably just lie anyway.”

He headed back to the table to speak with the halfling.

The tiefling waited for the dragonborn to leave, then she shuffled sideways along the bars, looking up at the elf.

“Hey, psst...”

The drow hesitated a long moment, but Luna had lured and earned the trust of squirrels and similarly skittish creatures. A calm, innocent smile remained on her face.

After a time, the drow turned, slowly, and cast a suspicious and narrow gaze back at the halfling and dragonborn. Then, she looked down at the little creature outside her cell. Impatient movements of her hands wiped away the moisture that had gathered on her cheeks.

“What do you want?” she demanded, her tone once again harsh and strident.

“Do you really want to know?” Luna asked, tilting her head. “‘Cause it doesn’t sound like it.”

Narrowing her eyes, the drow took a few imperious paces across her cell. Turning, it seemed as though her eyes were trying to look anywhere but at the tiefling.

“I... Do...” She said, forcing the words out.

A sudden, wide smile belied Luna’s next words.

“I want to find out why somebody wants to invade and burn down my home,” she said. “And then I want to lash them with my tail! And spear them on my horns! And scratch out their eyes!!”

Prancing around like a toddler, she made a great show of whipping her strong tail side to side, then running forward, horns foremost, like a charging bull. Finally, she raked the air with grubby fingernails, teeth bared and a sparkle of fire in her eyes.

Watching this display in open dismay, the dark elf didn't respond until the tiefling came to the mentions of violence. Her face moved into a hungry smile, and she nodded.

“Yes!” She hissed, excitement infusing her voice. “And revel in the feeling of their warm blood running down your arms, the sweet sound of suffering caressing your ears...”

“I’ll make them pay,” Luna agreed, softly, that same small smile remaining on her face. “Will you help me?”

“I-” began the drow, then she stopped speaking and looked toward the dragonborn. “Don’t you believe what that male said?”

“What?” the tiefling asked. “That you’re evil?” Shrugging she turned a circle, as if dancing. “Do you want to be?”

“I don’t know,” she said, the drow’s face moving with conflicting emotions as she stared down at the little devil child.

“Seems to me you can do whatever you want,” Luna said. “Please, will you help? Maybe you’ll find out if you help.”

The dark elf’s face grew pensive, a cheek or brow occasionally twitching. Then, slowly, she nodded.

“Very well,” she said. “I will assist you. And if I discover I truly am evil, I will kill you both.”

“You can try!” giggled Luna, lashing her tail again. “You’re fun! Shaddar is a good man… Dragon… Lizard… Thing… But he doesn’t really play with me. Shaddar!” she called, suddenly, to her companion. “You should be more like- Wait, what’s your name?”

“My name is…”began the dark elf, then she swallowed and turned her face away. “Urravyll Noqumtor.”

Shaddar looked up from his conversation with the halfling, tongue flicking irritably. “What are you on about now, imp?”

“She says she’ll help!” The tiefling exclaimed, skipping a little on the spot and beaming toward the dragonborn.

“She does know.” Shaddar was back by Luna’s side in a flash. “Who’s behind this? Where do we find them?”

“Shaddar!” Luna said, poking her friend in the scaly ribs reproachfully.

The dark elf cast the dragonborn a sidelong glance and remained silent, looking toward the tiefling.

“I thought you said she would help?” Shaddar said.

“Be nice to her!” Luna said, pointing to the elf. “Like this: excuse me, pretty elf lady... Would you please tell us all about what you know? Then you can try and kill me! Does that sound like fun?”

Urravyll looked from Luna to the dragonborn, and nodded imperiously.

“The devil child knows the way of things much better than you, male,” she said. “Respect. And I've seen the symbol on a tower, half sunken into the ground.”

Shaddar’s tongue flicked as he looked disbelievingly at Luna. He liked the odd tiefling, but it seemed strange that an evil drow had taken to her. Also a little concerning.

“Thank you,” he said to Urravyll. “Might you be able to tell us where it is?”

“I'm afraid not,” she said. “However, I am perfectly capable of leading you to the very spot.”

“Let's go!” Luna squeaked, with excitement, tail twitching. “We’re gonna... What was it? Splash around in the oozing blood?”

“No!” The halfling came back from the table. “Nuh, uh, not a chance! She’s an evil, house-burning, kidnapping drow. If we let her out, we’ll never get her back in there.”

Shaddar looked between the three, tongue flickering.

“I’m afraid she’s right, Luna,” he said. “She’s dangerous.”

“Well I'm dangerous too!” She said, baring her teeth in a way that entirely failed to look intimidating but did manage to look slightly pathetic and cute. “Are you gonna lock me up, too?”

“If yer burn down houses, yeah,” the halfling said. “We can’t let criminals walk free. Especially not this one - I’d sooner have a dragon roaming our village. Erm… no offence.”

Shaddar chuckled and shook his head.

Luna giggled along with her friend. Then her face grew somber as she remembered her dear forest.

“All right,” she said, squaring off with the halfling. “What's your name?”

“Bree Thorngage,” the halfing said, facing the tiefling with arms akimbo. “What’s it to yer?”

“Bree Thorngage,” Luna began again. “We told you what we want, and you said no. But I have to ask you again. Please let us take the criminal. I don't think she could escape; Shaddar and I are really strong.”

“Yer may be strong, but yer only two and she’s devious,” Bree said, sticking a thumb in the drow’s direction. “Yer should see that weapon she carries. Besides, yer friend lacks yer confidence.”

“It’s not safe,” Shaddar agreed. “What do we do when we need to sleep? Or when we get to the tower and her allies ambush us?”

“The path is dark,” the dark elf spoke to the tiefling, then moved away, to the furthest corner of her cell.

“No!” Shouted Luna, stamping her foot petulantly. “She's coming with us. Do you hear me?”

The halfling took a step back.

“Not unless we can trust her,” Shaddar insisted, tongue flicking at the impetuous tiefling. “We’re likely to have enough enemies without one in our midst.”

“You’re so mean!” Luna whined. “Everybody thinks you’re bloodthirsty because you’ve got scales and everybody thinks I’m evil because I’ve got horns! But you’re gonna just keep all that nastiness going because of what she looks like?”

“No,” Shaddar said. “I’m choosing to believe the evidence of my own eyes. Beyond that she is in jail for kidnapping children, her attitude is clearly that of an evil one.”

“The house was on fire...”

“What?” Luna’s head whipped around to stare at the elf, who had not moved, but whose quiet words had reached the tiefling’s ears.

“I do not claim to be many things,” Urravyl said. “But I will have the truth spoken about me. I laid the children carefully beside the house as it burned.”

“Yes.” Bree snarled. “So you could slit their throats and bathe in their blood.”

“No!” stated the elf, forcefully, her foot coming down hard in sudden anger. “It was an act of mercy. However it is clear to me that no words of mine will sway you from your stubbornness.”

As the elf turned to the tiefling’s mind went into frantic motion, the end of her tail twitching with the effort.

“Wait!” she wailed, then turned to Shaddar. “What if she sweared, to her god-thingy?”

Shaddar considered for a moment. He gave a firm nod and snap of his jaws.

“She seems wholly devoted. Only a fool would break a vow to a god, even if it is an evil god.”

“Well?” Luna enquired, turning shining eyes to the elf, who began to shake her head.

The elf’s eyes grew wide and she continued to shake her head as she backed away from the friends. Turning, both fists came down to clench by her sides.

“Swear to Lollth,” she whispered, her voice shaking to match her hands.

She stood for a long moment, her barely trembling outside masking a soul in utter turmoil.

“Yes, swear to my lady, the Queen of Spiders, Lollth,” she stated at last, in a sudden burst of volume, turning back to the people outside her cell. “And in so doing, she may very well abandon me for all time.”

“Is someone going to open the cell now?” asked the tiefling, growing bored of the drama.

Aghast, Bree looked from the Dragonborn to the Tiefling.

“Crazy. Yer both crazy,” she said. “Very well. I’ll release her to yer charge, but know yer responsible for her! If she causes our village any more trouble, it’s on yer heads. And she’s not to have her gear while yer still in sight of the village!”

Grumbling to herself, the halfling stalked over to the cell and unlocked the door.

Discover what happens next in Episode 15: On the Road Again

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Unhelpful Help

Of Dice and Glen is a story being written following D&D 5th Edition rules and using Minecraft as the battle mat (and to set the scene). Each of the two writers control their own characters and share the job of Dungeon Master (controlling the environment, story, monsters and background characters). As a result, neither of us has any clue of what's going on or where this is going. So, let's have fun!

This story is split between episodes being posted on the second Monday of every month. You can find the first episode here and the previous episode here.


Of Dice and Glen Episode 13: Unhelpful Help

“Couldn’t miss it...” Luna muttered, crowding close to Shaddar in fear of the big building before them. “I bet the gods can see this monster from up in the sky...”

Approaching the iron-bound door, Shaddar raised a fist and knocked.

After a short pause, the door opened a crack.

“Well?” a voice said gruffly from close to ground level.

Shaddar took a startled step back from the disembodied voice. His shift brought the woman, less than half his height, into his view. He breathed easier.

“Yes, um,” he said, clearing his throat and removing his hand from his sword hilt. “We’re looking for the local authorities.”

The halfling squinted from one of the strangers to the other.

“You’ve found ‘em,” she said simply.

“You’re awfully short to be more than one authority,” Luna put in, helpfully, losing some of her fear at the sight of this harmless looking person.

The halfing frowned up at the tiefling, then looked further up at the white dragonborn.

“Is that yer pet?”

"No!" Luna was shocked, and offended. She stomped her foot and stared from the halfling to the dragonborn. "Listen here, yah little runt, he's a person, same as me. He's not a pet! You got that?"

“Calm down, Luna,” Shaddar said, aiming to place a calming hand on her shoulder but getting the top of her head instead. Then to the gnome, “Forgive my friend, she’s a bit highly strung. We encountered some goblins and kobolds not far from here. We killed them, but they were digging up an old tower and had a note suggesting there may be a greater threat - perhaps one that will put your village in danger. We wanted to warn you and hoped you might be able to help figure out how much of a threat there is."

Luna beamed as Shaddar brushed the top of her head and watched him as he spoke, looking particularly smug when he mentioned the slaughter of the evil creatures infesting her forest.

The halfling gave Luna a baleful look.

“I suppose you’d best come in then,” she said, opening the door and muttering something about housetraining.

"Thank you," she said to the halfling and bounced over the threshold.

She glanced around the room they found themselves in and was immediately disappointed by the lack of boots. Sighing heavily she grabbed up her tail and started twiddling the end.

The room was a simple square with a doorway leading off to one side. The floor was worn woodwork, with a table in the center. There were a variety of chairs, enabling peoples of various heights to sit at the table. The back wall had three doors of iron bars, held firmly in the brickwork.

Shaddar followed the overenthusiastic tiefling in, his eyes scanning around. He found a chair suited to his height and sat at the table.

The front door crashed shut and the halfling slid several heavy bolts into place before she came to the table and sat in a tall chair.

“What’s this threat of yers?”

Squinting suspiciously at the actions of the halfling, Luna inspected each chair in the room, then sat on a stool entirely too small for her, but it was the closest to Shaddar. She looked like an adult sitting at the children’s table, her knees level with her shoulders. Her tail curled beside her and flicked idly.

“So glad you asked,” she said, before her friend could speak. “Some troll-spawn is digging and invading and- and- and...” She waved her hands. “You know what I'm saying! Evil! Forest! Big trouble!”

“Someone discovered an old buried tower,” Shaddar added. “Goblins and kobolds were digging it up. We found this.”

The dragonborn pushed the note across the table.

The halfling cast Luna a disgusted look while reaching for the note. She ran her eyes across it. A flicker of worry crossed her face before returning to her usual scowl.

“So, what of it? Yer took care of ‘em, looks to me like the problem’s solved. Not a concern of ours, anyway.”

“Come, now,” Shaddar said, his tongue flicking irritably. He knew the halfling was just trying to put them off. “We both know that whoever sent those monsters will be back with more.”

“Yer right,” the halfling sighed. “I just don’t see what to do about it. We’re a small village here; we don’t have the manpower to go chasing a mystery.”

The halfling clearly was going to be a difficult bore, so Luna sprang to her feet and began wandering the room. She inspected the nearest barred room with interest. It didn't look very comfortable. There was a bucket in one corner and straw on the floor, but other than that was empty.

“We were planning to do the hunting,” Shaddar said, nodding to where Luna was no longer sitting beside him. Noticing she was absent, he cast around the room frantically until he found her. Good, she wasn’t getting into trouble yet. Just to be safe, he kept an eye on her. “Our forest is in danger. We came here to warn you and to get information on where to start our search.”

The halfling brightened considerably at this.

“What we need to know,” Shaddar said, “is if this signature, this skull crowned in flames, means anything to you.”

“Disgusting over-dweller...” Came an unfamiliar voice from the furthest cell.

Intrigued, Luna scurried over and peered through the bars. This cell was no different from the rest, except that it had an occupant, and what an occupant it was! Her skin was as dark as the shadow of a raven’s wing, and her hair the exact opposite - a luminescent white that seemed to glow in the dim light of her captivity. She was tall, her chin tilted upright, although her eyes were imperiously closed. She wore simple clothing of rough cloth, but she wore them like rich robes.

“How dare you gaze upon a daughter of Lolth!” She spat at the tiefling. “I will serve up your severed head as an offering to the spider-mother. Wretch!”

“Really?” Luna was fascinated. She rested her small chin and hands on the cross bars and gazed in fascination up at this apparition. “How? And who's Lolth? Is he nice?”

“Keep away from that drow,” the halfling called from the table. “She’s extremely dangerous. We caught her kidnapping children from a burning house.”

“Kidnapping children from a burning house?” Shaddar asked incredulously. “Sounds like she may have been rescuing them.”

“Well… yes… You’d think so,” the halfling admitted. “But if that was the case, why did she set the house on fire first?”

The tiefling barely heard the words of warning, brushing them away in favour of this newest interest.

The dark elf drew herself up to her full height and glared down at the impudent demon child.

“Lolth is not a weakling male,” she spat. “But an exalted and powerful goddess! Humble yourself before the power of the mother of spiders!”

Reaching forward, the elf grabbed for where a belt would have been, but her hand met only empty air. Her face fell and she turned away with a mortified snarl.

Waiting patiently for the power to manifest, Luna idly scuffed her tail in the dirt.

“Lolth sure is taking a long time,” she put in, conversationally.

“Come on, Luna, leave the prisoner alone,” Shaddar called. He turned back to the halfling. “So, about this symbol. Does it mean anything to you?”

As the symbol caught the light, the dark elf’s gaze happened to fall on it. Her eyes widened and she drew in a hissing breath that was clearly audible to the front of the building.

Shaddar heard the noise and spun to face the drow.

“You know this symbol? Does it have something to do with your evil people?”

He was really starting to worry now. The chaotic dark elves had a reputation for evil rivaled by few. This could be one of the worst disasters possible to befall his forest.

“Evil?!” Squeaked Luna, turning and staring at her friend. “How do you know she’s evil?”

Using the opportunity to keep silence, the dark elf turned back around and ignored the other people in stony silence.

“You’ve never heard of the drow?” The halfling asked, her face a mask of disgust. “After a huge war with the surface elves, they moved deep underground. The only time they come to the surface is to raid settlements, killing everyone except those they take as slaves. They won’t do anything unless it benefits ‘em in some way. They say that they’ll do anything for power. In their underground cities drow will kill their own mothers if it will gain them money or status.”

“If drow are invading our forest,” Shaddar concluded, “we will be lucky if the entire place isn’t burned down.”

The tiefling listened with doe-eyed amazement to this history lesson, then to her friend’s concerns. Slowly, she turned back to regard the dark elf.

“Are you evil?”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the drow and she held her silence for a moment, her mind working frantically. One hand twitched as a testament to her inner turmoil and she laughed suddenly, high-pitched and without humour.

“I do not know, little demon child,” she said, and for the first time her voice was lower, hesitating. She turned and Luna could see tears dampening her face.

“Ha!” The halfling sneered. “She’s evil, alright. She’d kill her own mother for a piece of silver. Probably did.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Shaddar said, approaching the cell. He waved the note in front of the bars, his tongue flicking anxiously. “Do you know this symbol or not?”

“Don't cry,” Luna said, too soft to be heard over the derision of the halfling and the demands of the dragonborn. She turned to look at her friend, seeing his tongue and frowning, trying to figure out if he was angry or worried.

“The affairs of the puny surface dwelling blasphemers is of no interest to me,” said the dark elf, turning her back on the dragonborn. “I know nothing of any symbols or a tower.”

“I never said anything about the tower,” Shaddar said coldly.

There was a long silence as the dark elf refused to speak.

Discover what happens next in Episode 14: Bargains

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.