Camera Shy

            As I worked on starting my YouTube channel, I encountered something I never had before. Camera shyness. It’s something that seems like it would suit me – as I’m extremely shy and introverted in the first place – but this was more than I would have expected. It was – literally – paralyzing.

            When I set up to film for the first time, I sat down in front of the camera and... froze. I knew what I wanted to say, I’d run some tests earlier in the week without problems, but now that I was filming something I was actually going to show people, I simply couldn’t do it. I couldn’t even reach out to press the record button.

            Now, I’ve experienced stage fright before, albeit in a roundabout way. I’ve been performing from a very young age – I believe I sang my first solo at the age of five, I became a semi-professional clown somewhere around ten, which later transitioned into being a magician, and, while I quit those around the age of twelve, I went on to be in a number of school choirs, bands, plays, and musicals.

            Though all of that, I never really felt nervous or afraid. Yet, the nerves were there. I only ever noticed them when I was singing a solo, and it took me a while to identify it, because I didn’t feel any different than normal. I merely trembled – such a small amount of a tremble that I’m fairly certain the audiences never even noticed.

            Yet there I was – sitting in front of an inanimate object, unable to move or speak. I couldn’t understand why – and I still can’t. After performing in front of a live audience, what’s so hard about performing in front of a camera? With a live performance, if something goes wrong, you just keep going as if it never happened and hope no one notices. On camera, you just say the line over again and edit out the parts you don’t like. It’s far easier.

            So, what was the problem? Was it that it was a new experience? Was it the permanence of what I was creating? Was it the absence of audience (it is rather difficult to talk to a device as if it were a person)? Was I just not ready yet? I doubt I’ll ever know.

            Obviously, I overcame the camera shyness. Not that day, though. I gave up and left it for a couple days before tying again. This time, I was still nervous, but not so much that I couldn’t record. And each subsequent week of filming, the feeling has faded a little more, to a point where it is now nearly nonexistent and I’ve almost forgotten there was a time when it was impossible for me to film.

            Now, here I am, having just completed my sixth video and reminiscing about that fist shaky start. The message in this story? Perseverance. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

The Big Bad Wolf

            Earlier this week, I saw a comment using “the big bad wolf” as a metaphor for a villainous person. As a fan of wolves, my brain started to rant about how wolves are continually maligned, even in this enlightened day and age. Knowing that wolves will avoid humans and only attack them out of desperation makes it somewhat ludicrous to use them as a metaphor for what we deem to be evil.

            Or does it?

            As I considered, the realization hit me that this comparison is far more apt than people realize. When we talk about the big bad wolf, we’re referring to our perceptions on the surface of a situation. More than that, we’re stereotyping, just as we do when viewing any other group as villainous.

            Let’s take a closer look at this metaphor, shall we? The wolf. This is a cunning predator; large and fearsome. It is easy to understand why humans came to fear them. Then came a time when wolves lurked around villages, preying on the weak, because they were starving. This is where the metaphor started. And, yes, wolves are looking fairly evil.

            However, we forget the part where the wolves were starving. They were desperate for food and just trying to survive. In fact, they still avoided attacking humans whenever possible, preferring to loot corpses. In normal circumstances, as I mentioned before, wolves avoid humans as much as possible. They are intelligent creatures, and also very social. Within their own packs, they are friendly and playful. Yes, they are masters of teamwork and extremely efficient hunters, but then, so are humans. The difference is that wolves hunt only for food, and they avoid letting anything go to waste.

            So, our metaphor of the big bad wolf shows us someone who is vicious because of their most visible behaviour. It shows us a stereotype of the worst aspects of a species from a time when they were struggling. However, it fails to show us what they are really like. In normal life, with normal circumstances, wolves are very different creatures.

            Considering this metaphor, my view on it has shifted. When we point at a person (or at a whole people) and say, “That is a big bad wolf!” we are commenting on the most visible behaviour. We are ignoring the parts that we can’t see, and very often don’t even go searching for them. In our ignorance, we have no idea what is motivating the wolf, or forcing it into its current position.

            Yes, I now believe that the misunderstood wolf is the perfect metaphor for that which we fear.

Check out my YouTube channel where I tell the stories of my D&D campaigns.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

What Change?

            I’ve been reading a series of books called the Death Gate Cycle to Colleen. This is fantasy series (by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman) from the late 80’s and early 90’s that I read once before when I was much younger. It’s one of those series that really proves what I always say about fantasy being the perfect way to take a closer look at human nature.

            This series takes place in a universe where the world has been split into four separate elemental worlds – plus a couple extras, but the details aren’t important for this blog. This happened because of two races of people so magical that they and the “lesser” races believed them to be gods – but the ideals of these two peoples opposed each other, so they were at war.

            The orderly and “goodly” of these two races, afraid of losing the way, cast a spell that tore the world to pieces and reformed it, dumping the chaotic and “evil” race into a magical prison while they were at it. Many of the “lesser” races died in the process, but the “goodly” race saved as many as they could. Unfortunately, the elemental worlds were not self-sustaining, and before the “goodly” race could link them together to work as a team (as they had intended), something went wrong and they began to vanish.

            The story follows a member of the “evil” race, who is one of many to have escaped the magical prison after generations of torment. Under the command of his lord, the first of his people to escape, he is scouting out the worlds in preparation for launching a war against the “goodly” race.

            As he is exploring these worlds, he finds them in chaos – with the three “lesser” races fighting endless wars against each other while the “goodly” race is absent. Then, on the fourth world he visits, he discovers dragon-like monsters who profess to serve him, but he eventually determines that they are pure evil and that they gain power from fear and hatred.

            These creatures get released into the other worlds, where they insinuate their way into the ranks of the “lesser” races (they are shape-changers) and spread chaos, fear, and hatred. They always present themselves as wanting to serve, and whenever confronted by someone who knows what they are, they say “You made us.”

            Then, at last, someone learns how to fight them by pinning down what they actually are. They explain it simply as “they are us.” The monsters are the embodiment of all the hatred and fear the races have of each other, and the more hatred and fear there is, the more powerful these monsters became.

            As I was reading this, I thought, wow... that looks a lot like the issues we’re facing in the world today.

            And, as with today, the way to fight these monsters was for people to put aside their hatred and fear and work together.

            To me, it is an obvious message. But then, this is woven into a series of books that was written over twenty years ago and we’re still dealing with the same issues. Perhaps the time has come to say it louder.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Paths to Power

            As a writer, it is important to be aware of the many different avenues to power. Both protagonists and antagonists need power, but all power must be explained. Why to minions throw themselves at superior foes? Why do people follow the protagonist’s leadership? All power must come from somewhere.

            Power through strength. Strength is the simplest, most basic form of power. Someone wants leadership, so they take it by force, beating back all challengers. This is the first avenue to power discovered, although in modern times it’s somewhat outdated. It works in smaller environments (bullies have power in their chosen domain) but it’s extremely difficult to take over a country by beating up its leader.

            Power through fear. While it is true that power through strength has a connection to fear, fear itself is far more versatile. A leader who gains power through strength can maintain it by having people too afraid to challenge them. Or fear can be used to establish power in the first place – with threats of powerful weapons, revealing dark secrets, or the wrath of a deity. Yet another angle is fear of an enemy – leaders can easily rise to power if they appear to be the only solution to some great threat – such as an enemy army, a plague, or a change in ideology.

            Power through commerce. By controlling important resources, power is gained. There isn’t much people won’t do if it’s the only way to eat. People can be enslaved to money, for fear that without it their lives will end. With large amounts of resources or money comes great power.

            Power through charisma. It is possible to gain power just through being likable. If someone is liked – be it for their winning personality, good looks, or ideological viewpoints – people will follow them. With enough people comes power.

            Power through knowledge. Knowing more than others gives a distinct advantage. People always want someone to look to for guidance – if someone can prove themselves reliable, they can become that person and gain power.

            Power through education. Control what people think and you control the people.

            Power through deception. Tell the people what they want to hear; convince them that it’s true. They will follow, as long as they believe.

            Power through mystery. People are a curious bunch. Someone who can keep them fascinated, keep them guessing, can go a long way.

            There are so many routes to power, and each one has its own facets. Always make sure you know where the power is coming from and how it influences those around the one who has it. Not only does it add depth to a story, it tells you how to unravel that power.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Fear Always Works

            “Fear always works.” I watched Zootopia for the first time today and was impressed by how filled it was with social commentary, but that particular line in the movie (said by the villain) stood out to me. It’s true; fear always works. But, what if it didn’t?

            One of the reasons fear always works so well is because it’s instilled in us from childhood. Why? Because it always works and, quite frankly, is the easiest way to control someone. Why don’t we touch the things that will hurt us? Because we will be punished with something that we fear. Why don’t we eat the things that will make us sick or damage us in the future? Because we will be punished with something we fear. Why do we obey the rules set forth by parents to keep us safe or to keep them from worrying about us? Because we don’t want to be punished with something we fear.

            It continues on into the school system (we do schoolwork because we fear the consequences of failure), then into the work force (we do whatever we’re told, even sometimes when we know we shouldn’t, for fear of getting fired) and even our entire social structure (we obey the laws out of fear of fines and jail). Everything is predicated on fear. So, is it such a surprise that fear is used so much to control people?

            Okay, so the question then becomes, why do we always use fear? Quite simply, because it’s so easy. Look at sheep herding. With the right amount of fear in the right place, the sheep will go wherever the shepherd wants. It’s the same with people – it preys upon our survival instincts, our natural desire to stay safe. And it takes so little effort.

            Children are taught that they are to follow the rules or they’ll be punished. This simple bullying is enough to keep them mostly in line. They will follow rules that make no sense to them, just because they fear the consequences. Parents see nothing wrong with this – and why should they? They were raised the same way, and it held true for everything in the rest of their lives.

            Now, of course, they could always try explaining the rules to their children. That way they would hopefully understand why the rules are there and why they should be followed. They could be taught to keep themselves to be safe, and to respect and understand the feelings of others. But that takes a lot of time and most people don’t believe children are capable of understanding – or remembering. But a punishment, that is easy to remember.

            Still, I can’t help wondering what the world would be like if we were all raised to be mindful and empathetic rather than fearful. Would the world be a better, more compassionate place? Or would fear tactics, on the occasions that people decided to use them, become even more powerful because we aren’t so used to dealing with it?

            Either way, it seems like fear will always continue to work. I guess what we need to do is raise people to overcome fears – that way, someday, fear will no longer work.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

What is it About Darkness?

            Colleen was out of the country with her family for most of the week, leaving me at home and in charge of the various animals in the house (For those who don’t regularly follow this blog, I live with my in-laws with the house separated into two separate units). It was on an overcast night when I was taking the dog out before bed that I noticed just how dark it was. We live out in the country, so the only lights around at night are the ones on the houses. Outside the bubble of light from the house, the rest of the one-acre property was almost completely black.

            My stomach clenched in its way of saying, “We’re not really going out there, are we?” while the dog tugged playfully at the end of his leash. It struck me, then, how much instinct we have built into our system – and close to the top of those instincts is a fear of the dark.

            I found myself wondering why that is. The answer is obvious for if we look to the past, before we had all this technology – back then, there was a lot of danger out in the darkness. Now, though, we've tamed the world. At least, the parts we live in. There’s almost no chance of a threat being out there.

            Yet, still, our instincts tell us to freeze – to stay in the safety of the light. We know it is safe. In my case, I even had a dog with me, with senses far better than mine, showing no signs of distress.

            Still, I hesitated. My instincts told me not to go. I realized that it was more about the uncertainty than the darkness itself. I'm used to being able to see everything around me, of knowing when there was a threat. What the darkness hid wasn't something I was afraid of, but the potential of something – anything – being out there. The fear wasn't of the dark, but of the inability to know for certain everything was fine, even though I was already certain.

            Once I left the “safety” of the light, my eyes started adjusting to the darkness. It wasn't so much that I could see everything, but I could see enough to feel comfortable and confident. That’s when I realised there could be something more behind our innate fear of darkness.

            Our ability to create light.

            Ever since we discovered how to make fire, humans have been able to control light and banish the darkness. Our instincts became based around staying in the light, where we could see clearly. Meanwhile, those same instincts gradually forgot that by being out in the darkness for just a little while, our eyes adjust and we can actually see fairly well. So, we keep to the light.

            The ironic part is that someone (or something) out in the dark can actually see more than someone in the light. More than that, from the darkness, someone in the light sticks out as a clear target.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Always Something New

            I love those moments in life when you’re reading a book or watching a movie for somewhere between the second and millionth time and you suddenly notice or realize something for the first time. Sometimes it’s just simple little things that you aren't meant to catch at first, like that brief look or comment a secret villain makes that seems harmless unless you actually know the truth about them. Other times, it’s a huge revelation about the secret meaning behind the story.

            An example of the first one was something Colleen pointed out to me while we were watching The Incredibles – for the first time, we noticed that when they entered the secret laboratory of Edna (the superhero seamstress), she actually had large bolts of fabric stored in there. It’s a small detail that usually just slips by, but when you notice it, you realise just how attentive to detail animators are (set dressers, too, for live movies).

            I recently started reading The Hobbit (again), but I'm seeing it with new eyes thanks to all the special features I've seen from the movie. What stood out to me this time was a single line – a comment about the battle of the mines of Moria. I've never noticed it there before, but because it plays a larger role in the movies, I caught it this time. This isn't just a testament to the attention to detail that Peter Jackson has, but also to Tolkien’s world building skills. Nothing says the world of a book is real like a casual reference to historical events.

            The one that got me thinking about all this was while I was watching The Croods (yes, I know I watch a lot of movies, but I make chainmaille for a living and it helps to have some entertainment). It’s a fun animated movie, with some good messages in it and that’s just what I was thinking when the “wow” moment hit me. The biggest underlying meaning in the movie is overcoming fear to live a better life.

Then I took a closer look and my jaw dropped as I saw, twisted into the story, a huge political and social commentary on the effects of fear, including how it is used to control people. A fearful person used their fear to instil fear in others to get them to do what they wanted, justifying it to themselves by saying it was for their protection. The fear closed minds and prevented progress. It wasn't until the fear was released that minds were opened and life became better.

            If you take that story and paint it over various people and/or world events (I'm sure I don’t have to give any examples), certain things suddenly start to make sense (or, at least, as much sense as they can). I don’t know if the movie makers intended for their movie to be applied to a global scale, but I don’t really care because it can be. Be it for a person, country or planet, overcoming fear opens minds and improves life.

            That’s the best part about these revelations – they don’t even have to be intended by the creators. They are there and they bring a new life to entertainment, which is why the best books, movies and video games are worth second, third and fourth times through. Even if it’s in your mind, there’s always something new to find.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Monsters from my Closet

            Today I shall tell you of the monster in my closet. Well, monsters, really. And they aren't there any more. At least, I hope not. They were dreadful.

            They’re funny things, though, monsters in closets and under beds. Where do they come from? My own observational skills tell me that they come from the half-shapes we see in the dark – things that are often made of the shadows and silhouettes of multiple items, making us wonder what we could possibly gave hanging from the back of the door that could look like that. On the other hand, common lore (backed up by a quick internet search) suggests that the monsters came as stories used to scare children into obedience. I suspect both are true.

            It’s an odd tradition, though, telling children there are monsters in their closets or under their beds and will eat them (or drag them off) if they don’t behave. Yes, fear is the easiest way to get anyone to do what you want (although far from the best and encourages bullying), but this particular story lacks a certain logic. I mean, really... if you want your child to go to sleep, do you really want them thinking there’s something lurking under their bed?

            That said, I'm quite confident my parents never told me there were monsters anywhere in my room. My brother might have, but I have no memory of it. So it’s strange that I actually had such monsters lurking about. It’s possible that my monsters were inspired by their common presence in books, movies and the minds of my friends.

            Regardless of how they got there, two monsters took up residence in my childhood closet. At first, there was only one. He would come out of my closet, searching for children who were still awake so he could eat them. Luckily, I was very good at pretending to be asleep.

            Unfortunately for me, I had a keen mind. I knew that everything in the world had an opposite, balancing factor. So, it was only a matter of time before my monster brought his brother along. His brother was a monster who only ate children who were asleep.

            Still, my luck hadn't run out (as can be told by the fact that I'm here today to tell you this tale). Neither of the monsters were very smart. They would go to opposite sides of my bed, so I was able to close one eye and keep the other open. This fooled one into thinking he was seeing an awake child (when he ate sleeping ones) and the other into thinking he was seeing a sleeping child (when he ate awake ones). They would inform each other of their findings, then switch places. All I had to do was switch which eye was open and which was closed.

            They would go back and forth for some time, getting frustrated and hungrier. Eventually they would give up and wander off, back into my closet, and I was finally permitted to go to sleep. After running this ploy for long enough, my monsters finally gave up and stopped coming.

            I have to wonder if they might still be out there somewhere, hunting unsuspecting children. Perhaps they merely fed off my imagination and, since they were unique to me, they faded from existence after I had defeated them. If you do happen to come across them, though, tell them “hi” from me and give them a wink.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

The Deer-ostrich

             I saw a deer today. Well, it may have been part ostrich, as all I saw was a body with some legs and a neck disappearing into the snow. I've never actually seen a deer in the wild before. All my life, my parents have said “There’s a deer!” and by the time I looked, there were no deer anywhere.

            I have no idea where I'm going with this; that just seemed like a good way to start. After all, who doesn't love a deer-ostrich story? Now, of course, I have to write one.

            Once, there was a deer-ostrich. He was a beautiful fellow with a fine coat of fur and a long feathered neck. Life was good for him, since he could reach up high to eat from trees, or down to the ground to eat grass, if he pleased.

His only trouble was that he didn't know how to handle his fear. Two sets of instincts told him, simultaneously, that at the first sign of trouble, he should bury his head in the ground and run. As you can imagine, this resulted in some ungainly flights, often leaving deep trenches right up to trees.

            Now, the deer-ostrich was one of a kind, so he had no one to teach him what he should do if a predator were to spot him. So he decided to ask a deer for some advice.

            “If you see a wolf, run!” the deer insisted. “Don’t mind the lions, they prefer ostriches.”

            “Oh deer, but I am a deer-ostrich!” the deer-ostrich replied. “What if the lion prefers me?”

            “Ask an ostrich,” the deer said with a shrug.

            That’s just what the deer-ostrich did.

            “If you see a lion, just bury your head in the ground,” the ostrich said. “The lion will think you’re an odd type of bush and leave you alone. Wolves prefer to eat deer.”

             At that point in time, a lion happened upon them. Fighting his instinct to run, the deer-ostrich followed the ostrich’s lead and buried his head in the ground.

            The lion wasn't fooled, as the ostrich had claimed he’d be. What he saw was a tasty feathery meal next to a silly deer with its head in the ground.

            When the deer-ostrich emerged, he found himself safe and alone. Satisfied that he now knew how to survive when he was afraid, he went about his life, running from the wolves and burying his head around lions.

            The system worked for years, until he chanced upon a lion and a wolf at the same time. In a panic, the deer-ostrich had to choose one of his defences. Since the lion was closer, he buried his head.

            The lion went about its business, but the wolf was delighted to come across a deer who, with its head in the ground, couldn't see him coming. It was the easiest dinner the wolf had ever gotten, although upon telling others of his luck, he did have something to say.

            “But, my, did that deer taste fowl!”

            The moral of the story is: Don’t make up stories on the spot at midnight.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Imagination

            Imagination is a wonderful thing. I can’t imagine a world without it – and in a world without it, I couldn't imagine anything at all. So, I find it strange that imagination is so often labeled as a childish thing; something we’re supposed to grow out of.

            I think that a lot of people never stop to think about how much we actually rely on imagination. The truth is, we would have nothing without it. We would be hunters/gatherers living in caves without tools – because the first tool was just a thing that someone imagined could be used for something else. Homes, too, are a product of imagination. Someone imagined a way to create their own shelter, then they built it. I don’t even need to mention all the technology we rely on.

            Even our languages – spoken and written – came from imagination. Someone imagined a certain combination of sounds could paint a picture of a person, place, thing, or action. Then someone did the same thing with squiggles in the dirt or paint on a cave wall. What creative people they were!

            I’ll admit there is a down-side to imagination, and that’s fear. We can imagine all kinds of terrible things far worse than what is actually out there. As an example, the other night I turned out the light before going to bed, but instead of getting straight into bed like I usually do, I crouched down beside the bed and was as silent as possible. Colleen, who was already in bed, knowing that I was in the room somewhere and that I enjoy scaring her periodically, was terrified. She was sure I was going to jump out at her, although I told her later (and got swatted for it) that I had no intention of doing so because I knew her imagination could scare her far more than I could.

            But that’s one negative point, and it actually branches into a positive one – entertainment! What would life be without entertainment and how could entertainment exist without imagination? Everything from the simplest game to books and movies required imagination to create. So unless someone does nothing but eat, sleep and work, their lives rely on imagination in some way.

            All things considered, I think that imagination is the most valuable thing we have. Imagine that. If imagination is childish, then I’m perfectly happy to stay a child forever. A world without imagination is a world that shouldn't exist.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

 

Give and Tolerate

            I've been thinking lately that there are only two things causing all the problems in the world: greed and a lack of tolerance for people who are different. It seemed strange to me that, with so many issues in the world, there isn't one that couldn't be solved by eliminating these two things from our lives, but I've yet to find a problem that they aren't at the heart of.

            I think lack of tolerance speaks for itself. Whether it be out of fear of the different or some belief, there are far too many people in the world who want everyone to do what they do and believe what they believe. It causes wars, bullying, terrorism, political debates (as well as providing politicians with an ideal weapon for manipulation) and, more than anything, it breeds hate.

            What good does it do? I suppose, if the people who want everyone to be the same got what they wanted, it would provide security. It will never happen, of course, because the world is so diverse that the only solution would be to save the people with your ideals in a bomb shelter while you nuke the planet. Even if that happened, it wouldn't last – diversity is part of human nature; eventually those unwanted “different” qualities would bounce back.

            On the other hand, if everyone were to simply allow everyone else to believe what they want to believe and do what they want to do, where is the room for problems? Where does hate fit in? I admit that this sounds a bit like the opposite extreme – asking everyone to be the same by accepting those who are different – but all I'm asking is that everyone tolerate people different from themselves. I doesn't matter what you look like, do or believe, just so long as you allow everyone else look like, do or believe as they choose.

            Greed, on the other hand, is an even greater problem. People who crave vast amounts of power or money start wars and cause problems for everyone who just want to live their lives. Can you imagine a world without greed?

            For one thing, we’d be able to feed the world. We already can – we produce enough food, most of it just gets thrown away because those of us living in first world countries want our conveniences such as fast food and having just about anything we can imagine available for us in grocery stores.

            We’d also have less power struggles in the corporate world. Products would be made with quality as the goal rather than making as many as possible as cheaply as possible so they can be sold for as much as possible as many times as possible (because they break easily and need to be replaced). That, right there, just ended the majority of the world’s financial problems. Oh, you could argue that there would be less jobs available because not as many products would need producing, but my reply would be that the products being produced would be worth producing and as a result would take longer to make, giving more people jobs. The price of the individual item would go up, but you’d only have to buy it once. This is assuming, of course, money still exists in a greed-free world.

            Let’s not forget politics. Take the greed out of politics and what do you have? People who actually want the best for their country running the show. Think about all the possibilities! No more of these campaigns to slander the opponents, no more taxes paying for things that no one wants (such as government officials’ new summer retreats) – just people who want to do some good being in a position where they can do so.

            Obviously it is a dream to entirely eliminate greed and lack of tolerance from our world, but it would be nice if people would at least try. Let people who are different than you make you smile because you know they've found something they enjoy. Rather than focusing on making yourself happy, try to make others happy instead. I know it sounds counter-productive but here’s my math on this: if you try to make yourself happy, you have one person making you happy. If everyone tries to make everyone around them happy, then there are a lot more people trying to make you happy.

            Doesn't that sound like a happier world to live in? All you have to do is give and tolerate and teach those around you to give and tolerate. Who knows? Maybe someday all the world’s problems will go away.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Of Music and Maille

            Oooh, this is new! I'm actually writing my blog while still at an event. Hopefully I won’t get interrupted too often, but if I wander off I hope you don’t mind.

            Festival of Friends is a music festival, rather than the usual medieval fairs or geek conventions we go to. We were uncertain of how well we’d do here, but we've done quite well for ourselves. People love our stuff! And because this isn't the sort of event people usually find chainmaille at we drew a lot of attention.

            We've even continued the pattern of selling a tie at every show we've been to. Just before I sat down to write this, one of the vendors across the aisle from us could no longer resist the ties he’d been admiring all weekend.

            Oh! We also have someone who wants to stock our products in her shop! That’s exciting news.

            I haven’t wandered around the festival that much – I'm a little afraid of being disappointed. Festival of Friends was an annual event for my family to attend, but a lot has changed. Instead of being out in a park, it’s moved to a fairground and that has changed the entire feel. It feels... well, like a fair. Not that it’s a bad thing; it’s just different.

            The music has changed a lot, too, but that’s a good thing. There’s a very good variety, ranging from folk to rock (the later it gets, the younger the music gets). And the crowds attracted? All ages. It’s not often I see such a diverse crowd. We've even encountered a number of fellow geeks! (One of the security guards was at ConBravo! Where we had a table two weeks ago.)

            Backtracking to when Festival of Friends was at the park, I simply must share a story from when I was a kid. This is the story of the time I got lost. Well, actually it’s the story of the time my family got lost. We were at the festival and my parents had been talking about leaving and I was adamant about staying. So, there I was, watching the band playing on stage, and my parents got up to go juggle. I looked around, couldn't find my parents and panicked. I thought they’d left without me!

            So, I did what any kid would do – I tried to catch up with them. I ran all the way to the car which, to my relief, was still there but, to my despair, was devoid of any family members. However, I had been taught very well – I knew that if I got lost, I was to stay in one place until I was found. Plus, if I stayed by the car, there was no way those dastardly abandoning parents of mine could leave without me.

             I waited. And I waited. Crouched down beside the car (probably crying), I waited. During this time, there were announcements I couldn't hear at every stage of the event telling people to look out for me and telling me to report to the missing children’s tent while my parents themselves (and any other relatives still at the event) frantically searched for me. They did eventually find me, but not until their second trip to the car because, with me crouched down, they couldn't see me.

            And that is the story of the time I caught my parents trying to abandon me and I cleverly outwitted them when I was somewhere between the ages of six and eleven.

            Well, I should sign off before the crowds of the last rush show up. Next week I may have something interesting stories as I plan to be attending a free online writer’s conference this week. Write On Con. If you’re an author, you should check it out.

P.S. Be glad that I edited this between the time when I originally wrote this post (surrounded be music, talking and distractions) and the time I posted it. Be very, very glad.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Understanding Phobias

            I have often felt that most people don’t understand the term “phobia”. The general meaning is understood – a phobia is a fear. But, if it’s a fear, why not just say “fear” instead of “phobia”?

            The reason is that a phobia is much more than a fear – it is a type of anxiety disorder. Depending on the severity of the phobias, they can be very debilitating. As someone who suffers from a number of them, I would know. That being said, the information I can give you is based off of my own experiences and may or may not reflect those of other people, but in the very least it can give you an idea of what having a phobia is like.

            The very worst part of having a phobia is knowing that it exists, because they are generally irrational fears. With a normal irrational fear, someone can use logic and explain to you how it is irrational and that helps you overcome the fear, but with a phobia, all it can do is make you aware that your response is entirely involuntary. There’s nothing worse than knowing that you can’t control your reaction to something you know you shouldn't be afraid of.

            Perhaps the best way to demonstrate this is with an example. One of my phobias that I discovered when I was a teenager was a fear of heights. But not all heights, no, just a certain type. I could easily jump down from a ten foot balcony or have LARP sword fights with my friends on the angled (and usually slippery) pavilion roofs at the park, but to get up to that roof I had to walk across the narrow sides of two-by-fours which I discovered I could only do if I was holding on to something.

            Now, I know, that seems perfectly logical and is an intelligent safety precaution, which is true, but what struck me was that I actually couldn't move if I wasn't holding on to something. I have an excellent sense of balance and I had every confidence that I could even run across those two-by-fours without falling, but my body refused to move.

            Logic told me I would be safe; I had the confidence and the skill, but I still couldn't do it. This is the difference between a phobia and a fear. Here is a picture of the closest I ever got to defeating that phobia:

            It was taken as part of a series of pictures where I was having LARP dagger fights with my best friend everywhere. Of all the pictures, this was the only one that was posed (including one where we were fighting while standing on either end of a teeter-totter) because I couldn't stay standing up long enough to fight.

            I shouldn't say that logic is entirely useless in regards to phobias. It is wonderful for making them worse. There is one very common mistake that people make when trying to help someone with a phobia, and that is to give them logic. “Why are you afraid of X? Don’t you know that Y, which you have no problem with, has far more bacteria?” To which my response is, “Gee, thanks, now my phobia won’t let me touch X or Y!”

            In fact, being a logical person and having a phobia is probably the worst combination there is. One of my worst phobias is raw meat. Somewhere along the lines, I picked up that raw meat carried all kinds of bad... something. I don’t even know what it is that I'm afraid of, but I know I can’t touch raw meat. Or anything that raw meat touches. Or that that touches. It’s like there’s a force-field.

            Colleen and I went to the local Farmer’s Market a few weeks ago and we bought a couple pounds of bacon. It was nearly a traumatising experience for me and worse for Colleen once I pointed out to her what had happened (she makes every possible effort to not agitate my phobias. Isn't she wonderful?). The lady at the shop handled the bacon with her bare hands, which she then used to wrap the bacon before putting it on the counter. To clarify this in my phobia’s terminology, the bacon contaminated the lady’s hands, which contaminated the paper that was now, by my expectation, supposed to be preventing the bacon from contaminating anything else.

Good job there.

            Moving on, Colleen paid the woman, who took the money and gave change with the same contaminated hands. Taking the contaminated change, Colleen’s hands became contaminated, as did her wallet and everything in it when she put the money inside. Then, on the way home, Colleen brushed her hair out of her eyes with her contaminated hands...

            And that is how phobia logic works! It took every ounce of my self control and mental re-routing to stop my phobia from preventing me from handling money ever again (because I don’t know how much of it has been passed through hands that have handled raw meat). To be fair, that’s a pretty powerful phobia, but it should at least give you an idea what having one is like (if you don’t already have one).

            So, what can you do to help someone with a phobia if logic doesn't work? The best suggestion I have is to leave them to take care of themselves and to respect that their fears are rooted so deeply that it is more than a fear – it is an involuntary, often paralysing, reaction. People who know they have phobias know what precautions to take to prevent them from being too problematic (such as marrying a wonderful person who’s willing to eliminate all those spiders that want to kill them). In my experience, all you can do by trying to make the phobias go away is to make them worse.

            I hope this has helped you to understand phobias a bit better and that, if you have phobias, it hasn't made them worse.

            To that one despicable person out there who just opened their wallet and started rubbing all their money on a raw steak, I hope that whatever it is that my phobia insists I’m afraid of gets you instead of me.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.