We Need Diversity

            Something I see talked about a lot in the online writing community is getting accurate diverse characters written into books (people of different ethnicities, LGBTQ, people with disabilities, etc). Why? To ensure that everyone from every background and belief has characters they can relate to and, more importantly (in my opinion), to show people how much variety there is in the world and make them more accepting of people different than themselves.

            This is actually something that is very challenging to, for several reasons. The biggest challenge is fighting the social conditioning we have that leads to us simply using stereotypes – we’re exposed to them through all the media that’s out there already. Many of the books that inspire current authors are written either with an absence of diverse characters, or with them represented in stereotypical ways. It’s far too easy to follow the well-trodden paths.

            Then there is fighting the comfort zone. We are brought up with many taboos, and some can be very uncomfortable to push past. How do we write about people with different colours of skin when we’ve been told all our lives that pointing out someone’s skin colour is racist? How do we write about a disability or a gender identity we haven’t experienced ourselves?

            That leads into the third challenge: research. Research takes a lot of time and energy. It’s so much easier to run with the stereotypes, or just avoid unfamiliar topics altogether.

            Yet, we live in a diverse world, and therefore we must push past all out boundaries to include everyone in our writing. Once we do that, we need to choose how to present this diversity: do we highlight it, by making the story about modern issues related to it, or do we blend them in and treat them like we would any other character?

            While there is a need for the first, I feel that the latter option is the most important for the future. There are many parts of society that have been characterized in certain ways, marginalized or outright abused throughout history. This had been built into our media – movies, shows, games, books – and many of them will last for generations to come. We’ve become aware of the problem, and it’s getting talked about more and more – but it won’t be solved until we stop talking about it and make it normal.

            What really needs to happen is for diverse characters to be added into the media, but without them being treated any differently than anyone else. By doing so, we normalize them, and by extension show future generations that not only is it normal for people to be different – but it’s perfectly okay.

            Gone are the days when everyone needed to be made with the same cookie cutter. As a society, we are moving closer and closer to accepting people for who they are. By allowing people to be true to themselves the world becomes a happier place. But we can never achieve complete acceptance until our sources of entertainment – which shape us and our ideas in more ways than we realize – represent diversity as normal. Diversity in media starts here and now, by making the extra effort to put it in and make sure it’s accurately represented.

            The world is a diverse place. We need to celebrate it, not stifle it, and make it perfectly normal to be whoever we are.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Halloween Costume Philosophy

            Halloween is an interesting concept for me these days. It pretty much passes by without me noticing it.

            When I was a kid, I loved Halloween, at least in concept. Dressing up in costumes was great and the candy was even better. The weather, on the other hand, was hit or miss. Sometimes it made the day more fun, while others it made me wonder why I liked Halloween so much.

            While there’s no denying the enjoyment of candy, I think that the greatest allure of Halloween is getting to dress up. Why? Because it’s fun for everyone! I think that’s why I don’t really notice the holiday any more, though. I mean, really, who only dresses up once a year?

            When I was in high school is when Halloween vanished for me, at around the same time as I started LARPing. Let’s face it – dressing up in a costume once a week trumps once a year. Even more so when sometimes we’d wear our costumes to school to promote our group.

            Now, with Ringcrafts going to conventions or renaissance festivals nearly every month, there are times when I look around me and wonder why people aren't in costumes.

            Or are they?

            Perhaps it’s the everyday clothes that people wear that are the true costumes. They are worn as an effort to fit in and to avoid offending social expectations.

            Could it be that Halloween is the one day of the year that people feel comfortable in taking off their costumes and letting their true selves show?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Phones are Evil

            I’ve never liked phones – calling or answering them. I admit that they are a convenient method of communication, but other than that they’re a nuisance and downright rude.

            Not many people think about it – because we were brought up with them – but phones are an invasive force we allow into our lives. We string them throughout our homes and, these days, carry them with us everywhere we go. This wouldn't be a problem if they were only used for emergencies, but having a phone is so natural that people don’t even think before picking one up to call someone.

            So, let’s go over the basics. The average person works a 9-5 job, so calling them between those times is a bad idea. You might think you can call them before that, catch them before they go to work, but if you think that you truly haven’t thought it through. You see, what the average person is doing at that time is their morning routine – involving getting ready for work, eating breakfast and transporting themselves to work. Interrupting them during any of that is not only rude, but it could slow them down and make them late for work. Any earlier and they’re sleeping.

            Okay, so calling in the morning and during the day is out, what about in the evening? I’d like you to pause your reading for a moment and turn to the person beside you (be they imaginary or not) and ask them at what time they and/or their family eats dinner (or supper, or whatever you feel like calling your evening meal. Assuming you eat). The answer will most likely range from 5 to 7 (depending on how long it takes to get home from work). Now, if we allow for an hour to eat, that pushes us back to 8:00. 5-8 involves coming home from work (Don’t get me started on talking on the phone while driving. Admittedly not everyone drives, but do you really want to be talking on the phone in a public area where anyone and everyone can eavesdrop on you? You might think other people don’t listen, but they do), preparing food and eating it. Calling then is, once again, rude and can delay meals or other plans.

            Yes, yes, so from the time the alarm goes off in the morning (let’s say 6am) to the time people are certain to be done eating (8pm) people are too busy to be receiving a call. What about later than that? How about you turn to that (possibly invisible) person beside you and ask them what they do in the evening after dinner. Social plans? Movie? TV? Playing a video game to relax? Reading a book? Getting caught up on favourite blogs? The point is, the next two to three hours are the only time during the day that Mr or Ms Average has to spend on them self. How rude do you have to be to call them and interrupt them during that time?

            Now, depending on a few variables, that is 6am-10pm that is unavailable for calling if you don’t want to rudely interrupt something important. Any later (or earlier) than that and you’re messing with bedtimes and waking people up. Thus, there is no appropriate time to make a phone call, simply because you have no idea what you are interrupting.

            That’s just the calling side, though! As someone answering the phone, have you ever stopped to think about how often the call has interrupted something you were doing? The worst part is always that you don’t know who’s calling (well, okay, call display solves that for some people) or how long the call will take. Not that it matters, because you’re obligated to answer – it’s rude to ignore the phone when it rings.

            Have I missed anything? Probably, but that’ll have to do for now; I have to go answer my phone.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Social Conditioning

            I’d like to take a moment to talk to you about social conditioning. It’s a term I like to think I came up with, though I'm sure someone beat me to it. Yup. I just looked it up. Wiki defines it as “the sociological process of training individuals in a society to respond in a manner generally approved by society”. Or, as I like to put it, a very mild form of brainwashing that not only has happened to all of us, but we participate in doing to other people every day.

            For example, if I were to ask you what colour little boys and girls wear, even if it isn't your answer, your first thought will most likely be that boys wear blue and girls wear pink. If I told you that mom is working around the house, you’ll picture her cleaning something, while if I were to have said dad is working around the house you would have seen him fixing something.

            Gender stereotypes are just the easiest way of showing social conditioning. They exist because they've been trained into us for generations. We are now trying to counteract it by saying “It’s okay; your gender doesn't matter, you can do any job you want!” but, even as we say it, a small part of our minds are rebelling. It’s true, gender doesn't matter, but these roles are so ingrained into our minds that we have trouble taking those words and putting them into action.

            When they were raising us, my parents made a great effort to keep my brother and I from even being aware of these stereotypes and they did a fantastic job of it! They both shared in the work around the house, they both loved to cook, they both worked at the business they both owned. I remember a time when I owned a doll and never thought anything of it. Then school happened.

            School is the first place outside our homes that we are exposed to social conditioning – and it’s not from the teachers. It’s from the kids who are spouting out what they've learned from TV or their parents or grandparents. My brother was older, so he went to school first. Suddenly we went from being the best of friends to fighting all the time, because he learned about sibling rivalry. After I started school, I gave my doll away because boys didn't play with dolls. Suddenly we were infused with all of these stereotypes and pressure to follow them that we’d never had before. Luckily, neither of us had what we were raised to believe entirely squeezed out of us, but we did take a fair amount of residual damage. Neither of us ever quite fit in. I know my brother was bullied a fair amount and, while no one ever outright said it to me at the time, I've learned that many people’s first impression of me was that I was gay, simply because I didn't care about being masculine. I was happier being myself than trying to prove I was a man.

            This is just a small picture of what social conditioning is and what it does to people. Where does it come from? Well, mostly it’s from children, or, at least, they’re the ones doing it the most and the ones most susceptible to it. Where do they get their information from? Other children, parents, grandparents and TV. TV is actually one of the worst sources, because children often follow examples. In order to entertain us, shows need some sort of conflict and, as a result, there are some very despicable characters that we are exposed to, meanwhile there’s a child sitting there and watching for examples on how to behave.

            Most people go though their whole lives blissfully unaware of social conditioning – not surprising, since the only way to notice it is to stop and wonder why we do some of the things we do. I've always felt that it’s important to consider my motivations before taking action, which is how I first stumbled across the idea of social conditioning. Now I often stop to think, am I doing this because it’s part of who I want to be, or is it because society has trained me to act this way?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.