Individual Experiences

            When you look at the world, sometimes it’s hard to believe that society is as functional as it is. Yes, it could be much better, but it could be far worse as well. It all comes down to one thing: the perspective of each individual person in the world.

            When it comes right down to it, everyone has their own unique experience – and, therefore, perspective – of life, the universe and everything. That doesn’t mean there aren’t similarities. In fact, there are so many similarities that we fool ourselves into thinking that everyone knows certain things that are intrinsic to our lives.

            Each of us builds up our own little world around ourselves and core values. When someone doesn’t understand something that is a major part of our lives, we’re often shocked. Not with things we know are aberrant – for example, I never expect people to know what LARP is, and several years of my life centred around that. On the other hand, when people don’t know what chainmaille is (and I’ve encountered a large number of them), I’m truly shocked. It’s not only something that’s historical, but it’s present in a large number of books and movies. Plus, it’s even used for modern day purposes by butchers and loggers (and some police forces, I’m given to understand).

            Now, for me, chainmaille is obviously a normal thing – since I make it for a living. Before that it was a hobby, but even prior to then I knew what it was. I’ve been obsessed with fantasy since The Hobbit was read to me when I was five – you can’t get very far in that genre without knowing what chainmaille is. So when someone doesn’t know, I suddenly have to adjust my perspective to accommodate someone who hasn’t read any of my favorite books, seen my favorite movies, or been exposed to any of the things I’m most passionate about. And it’s not because the opportunity hasn’t been available to them, but because their interests are so vastly different than mine that they’ve never investigated them.

            That’s simply from my own experience – everyone has interests that others don’t understand. Everyone has their own perspective and their own ways of looking at the world. Everyone has a great many things that they don’t know about and can’t even begin to understand.

            Yet, somehow, society holds together. In spite of vastly different views on everything from... well, just on everything (the list is too long and I’m tired), the world functions. I think that’s incredible. I mean, yes, as a totally accepting person, I think that’s how it should be, but the world in general isn’t an accepting place.

            So, how is it that, in a world where there are so many people less accepting than me who, were they in my place, would say to kill everyone who doesn’t know what chainmaille is (to be fair, there are far worse ideas), how is it that the human race has survived everyone’s individual experiences? How has society not collapsed?

            It’s hard to believe.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Are You Awake?

            Sometimes I wonder if a good portion of the world isn’t walking around with their brains half asleep. It’s like people are somehow completely unaware that other people are... well, people.

            I hear stories of news site editors claiming writers do better work if they aren’t being paid. At my old job, I had a regional supervisor who proudly talked about how the first business he ran hired immigrants straight off the boat got away with paying them less than minimum wage because they didn’t know any better. People protest about minimum wages being raised because people flipping burgers have it easy (meanwhile, food service is an extremely high-stress environment).

            Yet, all of those people are people. Where are they supposed to get their money, if not from their jobs? Everyone needs to pay bills and feed themselves. Everyone deserves to be paid for the work they do, everyone deserves to be able to live a decent life. Not all business owners are rolling in cash, but if the business isn’t making enough to pay the workers a decent amount, why is it still running?

            Across the world, people are tossed aside as being part of a group. Is their skin a different colour? Do they speak differently? Is their religion different? Obviously, everyone who falls into a category is exactly the same as all the others from it.

            Except that each of those people is an individual person. They have their own life, their own views, their own beliefs. Few people actually fit their stereotypes.

            While waiting in line, people get mad about the people in front of them who are holding them up, without considering that those people are just like them – or that they themselves are holding up the people behind them. When driving down the road, people honk and swear at the person in front of them for going too slow, without even pausing to think – that’s a person. Maybe they’re a new driver, or there’s a pedestrian in front of them, or they have some other reason for going that speed.

            Each person out there is a person and deserves consideration. How can anyone possibly not recognise that the people around them are not just organic obstacles?

            Perhaps their brains really are half asleep. What will it take to wake them up?

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Who Are We?

            At some point in their lives, I'm pretty sure everyone asks themselves, “Who am I?” It’s such a simple question, but the answer is always elusive. That’s not too surprising; after all, a personality is such a complex thing, how can you even begin to define it?

            I did a lot of self-searching in my younger days (yes, yes, I know I'm not old enough to be saying that), so I thought I’d share my insights for anyone they might help.

I think everyone feels that, at their core, there is some part of them that truly defines them as a unique individual. It’s that part of us that we try to get in touch with when we start questioning who we are. It may be some instinct defined in our genetic code, the ideals we learned from our parents when we were young or something else entirely. I don’t know – I doubt anyone does.

            For me, I’d long ago lost touch with that core because I hadn't liked who it was telling me to be. So, when I was still a kid, I’d pretended to be a better person until it became true. I was truly surprised when I started my self-searching and discovered this. I had been able to change who I was, down to the centre of my being, into someone I wanted to be.

            Still, even with that knowledge, it was hard to define who I was and what I believed in. Because, as I said before, we are complicated. How do you define the many facets of a personality?

            Then I landed on the saying, “We are the sum of our experiences.” That says it all, but what does it mean? It means that everything that happens in your life becomes a part of you. Every interaction with every person you've ever met becomes a part of you. Everything you see, hear, touch, taste, smell, think and do becomes a small part of who you are.

            Even the smallest experiences can change who we are. Finding a $20 bill in a parking lot might turn us into an optimist, scanning the ground for money wherever we go. On the other hand, finding that we've misplaced a $20 bill we were certain we had might make us paranoid about people stealing from us. We change.

            Other people are the greatest influence. Humans are social beings; we thrive on shared knowledge and wisdom. Other people change our minds on subjects, or we change theirs. More than that, though, what they think of us changes who we are – or, more pointedly, what we think they think of us changes who we are. Either by trying to live up to their expectations or by trying to prove we aren't who they think we are, we change.

            When we start to think about this, we tend to fight back, because if we’re influenced by so many other things, are we still true to ourselves? Are we still the unique, free individuals we believe we are? The answer is yes, and I’ll tell you why.

            No one experiences the same things in their lives. Everyone reacts differently to each situation. All those little things come together to form a person who is unlike any other.

            But if we’re influenced by other people, are we still true to ourselves? Yes, we are, because that’s what a person is. While they’re influencing you, you’re influencing them. The only way to avoid this is to shut yourself up where you have no contact with other people – and even that doesn't work, because the decision to do that would be made with the influence of the knowledge that others were influencing you.

            Without the influences of other people, we probably wouldn't even be aware we are people ourselves. Where we get to have our say is in choosing how we want to allow our interactions with others to change us,

            That, right there, is what I've come to discover is the most important aspect of our personality – who we want to be. It can give us as close to a definition of who we are as anything can, because even if it isn't who we are yet, it is who we strive to be.

            As for everything else, it is simply an influence. Be it what people think, say or do, or a $20 bill in the right place at the right time, it changes how we view the world and react to it – but we can also choose how we let it affect us. We can choose whether or not it takes us towards who we want to be.

            Of course, because of how complicated we and the world around us are, who we want to be is changing constantly as well. When you think about it, it’s hardly surprising that so many people get confused when trying to define themselves.

            So, in the end, who are we? Quite simply, we are the people doing the best we can, hoping to be the best we can be.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.