Individual Experiences

            When you look at the world, sometimes it’s hard to believe that society is as functional as it is. Yes, it could be much better, but it could be far worse as well. It all comes down to one thing: the perspective of each individual person in the world.

            When it comes right down to it, everyone has their own unique experience – and, therefore, perspective – of life, the universe and everything. That doesn’t mean there aren’t similarities. In fact, there are so many similarities that we fool ourselves into thinking that everyone knows certain things that are intrinsic to our lives.

            Each of us builds up our own little world around ourselves and core values. When someone doesn’t understand something that is a major part of our lives, we’re often shocked. Not with things we know are aberrant – for example, I never expect people to know what LARP is, and several years of my life centred around that. On the other hand, when people don’t know what chainmaille is (and I’ve encountered a large number of them), I’m truly shocked. It’s not only something that’s historical, but it’s present in a large number of books and movies. Plus, it’s even used for modern day purposes by butchers and loggers (and some police forces, I’m given to understand).

            Now, for me, chainmaille is obviously a normal thing – since I make it for a living. Before that it was a hobby, but even prior to then I knew what it was. I’ve been obsessed with fantasy since The Hobbit was read to me when I was five – you can’t get very far in that genre without knowing what chainmaille is. So when someone doesn’t know, I suddenly have to adjust my perspective to accommodate someone who hasn’t read any of my favorite books, seen my favorite movies, or been exposed to any of the things I’m most passionate about. And it’s not because the opportunity hasn’t been available to them, but because their interests are so vastly different than mine that they’ve never investigated them.

            That’s simply from my own experience – everyone has interests that others don’t understand. Everyone has their own perspective and their own ways of looking at the world. Everyone has a great many things that they don’t know about and can’t even begin to understand.

            Yet, somehow, society holds together. In spite of vastly different views on everything from... well, just on everything (the list is too long and I’m tired), the world functions. I think that’s incredible. I mean, yes, as a totally accepting person, I think that’s how it should be, but the world in general isn’t an accepting place.

            So, how is it that, in a world where there are so many people less accepting than me who, were they in my place, would say to kill everyone who doesn’t know what chainmaille is (to be fair, there are far worse ideas), how is it that the human race has survived everyone’s individual experiences? How has society not collapsed?

            It’s hard to believe.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

How To Make Friends

            I’ve often heard people say that they have no idea how to make friends. So, I’ve decided to write a brief guide based on my observations of the new friend Colleen and I made this past weekend at the Royal Medieval Faire.

            This guide really only consists of one step: be mysterious. Not in an aloof, dark, mysterious stranger way, but passive way. It’s easier than it sounds. A lot of people are quite happy and eager to talk about themselves and their lives; all you need to do is constrain yourself to only giving occasional pieces of information about yourself. Preferably the most interesting points in your life – and without context, if possible.

            The best way for me to explain is with the story of our new friend. When he first appeared under our tent (where we were selling chainmaille, of course) at the faire, Colleen complimented him on the awesome coat he was wearing. He stuck around for a little, chatting and joining in a conversation we were having with friends from Colleen’s homeschooling group. At some point the style of homeschooling (called un-schooling, which focuses on teaching kids what they’re interested in) was mentioned, and it turned out that he’d also been raised that way.

            I also noticed, while he was there, that he had a piece of string around a finger that led down to what I believed to be the hilt of a dagger hidden in his sleeve. Very interesting, I thought, but at that point I didn’t know him well enough to comment upon it. Eventually he left, going to enjoy the rest of the faire.

            About an hour from the end of the event, he came back to chat with us some more (he no longer hat he dagger in his sleeve). The three of us talked about all kinds of topics, discovering we had lots of common ground. Every now and then he’d mention something about his own life, but he didn’t go on about it. They were just interesting points that made me more curious about him.

            The first thing he mentioned was that he’d only been in Canada for two weeks. Because he had an unfamiliar accent, I took that to mean he had just immigrated, but he clarified that he was native to Canada, but had been travelling in Europe for the past nine months. His accent, as it turned out, was technically a speech impediment as it was unique to him, a couple of his siblings (out of seven) and some guy from a fishing village who deliberately changed the way he spoke so he wouldn’t be associated with others from his village.

            At some point he mentioned how, while in Europe he’d climbed a castle while wearing an Assassins’ Creed hoodie. Later he confirmed that, yes, he can actually do parkour (which is awesome). At another time, when I asked about what kind of work he does, he didn’t directly answer, but did say he was going back to the old job from before he was travelling – then told us about how he’d had to get security clearance first and his option (which he didn’t take) to request “Top Secret” security clearance.

            He ended up staying after the show and chatted while we packed up. He helped where he could (we have a system and it’s hard to fit someone else in), most notably holding a couple bags for about 30 minutes to keep them off the wet ground. That in itself doesn’t sound all that remarkable, but these bags each weighed 30-40lbs and he had them hanging from his forearms, elbows bent, and he didn’t even show any strain from the weight.

            It was at this point that I said to Colleen, loudly enough for him to hear, that he’d had a dagger concealed in his sleeve (he was very surprised that I’d noticed it), he’d just spent close to a year in Europe, he could do parkour, he was impressively strong and he needed security clearance for the job the conveniently hadn’t mentioned what it was. Clearly he was a spy.

            From there, we all had a great time, putting together the snippets he’d told us about to prove he was a spy. He denied being one, of course, although he would neither confirm nor deny being an assassin. He even went so far to point out that the name he gave us might not actually be his real name.

            We had a blast, but I still don’t know what it is he actually does. I’m very curious, and therefore I have no choice but to be his friend so I can find out.

            And there you have it. The best way to make friends is to be mysterious. Make people curious about you so they’ll have to spend time around you to find out more.

            Also, be a spy and wear an epic coat to serve as an icebreaker.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Overuse of Suspense

            Lately I’ve been seeing a trend in a lot the shows I’ve been watching. It is the overuse of suspense.

            Suspense is an incredible tool for any form of entertainment. It’s what keeps the audience on the edge of their seats, engaged, and coming back for more. However, like all tools, it must be used in moderation.

            Unfortunately, the TV world is run on ratings – to get those ratings, as many people as possible need to be watching the show. What’s the easiest way to get people watching? Suspense. Putting a cliff-hanger at the end of every episode is a sure-fire way to keep the audience interested – and talking about – the show until the following week or season.

            But then the suspense begins to lose its effectiveness. The audience starts to expect it and not only does it stop compelling them to come back as much, it becomes... well, boring. Predictable. The moment everything is seeming to work out, the audience already knows that something terrible is about to happen. The urgent desire to find out what happens next is replaced by an exhausted, “What, this again?”

            When I was learning about suspense for my writing, I picked up one very important tip: give the audience a break sometimes. It is essential when working with suspense, because otherwise the suspense has the opposite effect from what was intended. I good tip for making a plot interesting is to chase your character up a tree and then throw rocks at them, but there’s one very important thing to remember: sometimes, the character has to succeed. If there are no victories, there’s no hope – and hope in impossible situations is what really keeps the audience engaged.

            The other thing to remember is that suspense can be subtle. Everything can turn out well at the end of an episode or chapter and the audience will still come back for more if there are questions left unanswered. There doesn’t always have to be a cataclysmic, plot-wrenching disaster.

            So, use suspense, but use it in all of its forms. Apply it with a brush, not a roller.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.

Musical Tastes

            Over this past weekend, I found myself home alone – with my wife and in-laws off to visit a friends’ cottage. This, of course, means one very important thing for me. I get to plug my music into my digital piano and shake the house (well... almost) with my improvised sound system!

            I often forget how important music is to me. I grew up in a very musical household with a large an eclectic selection of music. From the age of five up until the end of high school I was in a large variety of choirs and bands – in my second last year, during the school concert, I performed in every ensemble except one, which I snuck into the following year by pretending my clarinet was a tenor sax. I graduated with 8.5 music credits (when there were a total of 8 music courses) and went on to take piano and singing lessons for the following two years until I gave up on becoming a music teacher.

            Yet, now, music is almost absent from my life. I haven’t played a clarinet in years and I hardly ever sit down at the piano to see how much I remember of my meagre skills. Pretty much the only time I listen to music is in the car (roughly twice a week) and even then I rarely sing along. It isn’t until I’m home alone, with no one to disturb with my volume (what can I say, I’m very self conscious – I also have a great dislike for headphones) and no one to feel self-conscious in front of that I re-discover my love of music.

            It was as I was listening to my music – at an outrageous, wonderful volume – that I got to thinking. I was listening to a few songs that have been favourites of mine since childhood, noticing how much they spoke to me, and I started to wonder, how much had those songs helped to shape me into the person I am today?

            Thinking on it further, I considered how my brother’s taste in music differed from mine. We’ve always been very different people, and it showed in the music we liked. So, my question changed.

            Does the music we listen to influence the people we become, or do we enjoy the music that speaks to us because it speaks to who we are?

            It’s probably impossible to say, at least without running a study. I like to think it’s a combination of the two – we choose to listen to the music that speaks to who we are and, in turn, that music helps to grow those aspects of ourselves as we grow older.

            Whatever the answer, I’m going to try to bring more music into my life. It probably won’t work, but who knows? As long as I keep trying each time I remember how important music is to me, eventually I’ll find a way to make it stick around and enrich my life.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

Also, make sure you check out my wife's blog and her life coaching website.


If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.