A Matter of Perspective

            This morning I was doing a touch of research on a magic item in my Dungeons & Dragons campaign, and I found myself reading an article (more of a rant, really) about what the writer believed to be some of the strangest items that have appeared in the in the D&D multiverse over the years. I found the premise of the article intriguing, but as I read it I found myself to be quite disappointed – because, apart from the basic descriptions of some magic items, everything the person said, from what makes a good D&D game to how magic items come into being, was wrong.

            Okay, not wrong; let’s be fair here. This was an opinion piece, and therefore couldn’t be wrong. However, the writer was suffering from the delusion that how they play and think about D&D is the one and only way to play and think about it – and, as a result, greatly misrepresented the entire game.

            They started off by explaining that every magical item must be made by someone, and therefore a lot of the more ridiculous magic items have no right to exist – because who would bother investing the large amount of time and resources needed in creating – for example – a ring that makes the person wearing it disagree with whatever anyone else says to them. Now, the beginning of the argument is sound. It does take considerable time and resources to make a magical object, however there are two very important considerations left out: the first is that a great many cursed items were created to guard treasures and strongholds from thieves, and the second is that people can make mistakes while crafting a magical item and end up with something entirely different from what they intended. These two points explain the existence of any magical item imaginable.

            It’s also worth mentioning that the writer stumbled upon the latter of these two points part way through the list – with a magic item that specifically states in its description that it was a mistake – but they failed to amend the premise at the beginning, making me wonder if they didn’t think of it, couldn’t be bothered, or didn’t make the connection that other magical items could be mistakes as well.

            A few numbers in came another comment – about an item that gives players a bonus for agricultural abilities for a year. The writer went on at length about how any game where such a thing would be useful would mean there’s something wrong with the game. A later comment about an item that allows anything to be turned into something edible is that someone who is worried about that is missing the greater point of D&D.

            From this, I gathered that the writer believes D&D is about one thing: delving into dungeons, defeating monsters, and leveling up. And, you know what? That’s true of one type of D&D game – called a dungeon crawl. It’s fun, it’s fast, it’s dangerous, and it’s essentially the same as playing a hack-and-slash video game. However, D&D offers far more than that. It can be a survival game, where a lack of food might actually become a serious problem. It can be a game focused on the story, where the dungeons are hardly important at all. It could be focused on the roleplaying aspect, which could even lead to never even going into a dungeon at all – indeed, even spending a year tending a farm.

            In fact, the game actually has a large number of rules laid out for “downtime”, which is when players aren’t out adventuring. Because, let’s face it – there are only so many adventures to be had, and even the most seasoned adventurers need a break some time. There can be weeks, months, even years between adventures – and there’s a lot of fun to be had in those times as well.

            The final statement that told me a lot about the writer was that an item known as the Wand of Wonder was included on this list. This is a magic item that causes a random effect when used, from powerful offensive magic to a harmless cloud of butterflies. The writer believes this is a useless item, because of its unpredictability – would you carry a gun into battle that sometimes shoots bubbles and sometimes shoots bullets? Which tells me everything I need to know about this person. They believe that D&D is a combat game, and all that matters is making your character as powerful as possible. Which is perfectly acceptable for some games, but it isn’t representative of all D&D games.

            Why would you take such an item into battle as your weapon? Because this is a game, and that wand can do some amazing things. What’s more, it provides a wonderful storytelling opportunity because you don’t know what’s going to happen until you use it – and I grantee that the big bad villain getting peppered with butterflies will be a moment everyone at the table remembers and laughs about for a long time!

            So, if you find yourself so inclined to write an article about the odd magic items in D&D, try to do your research and find the items that truly are wacky (they exist!) rather than rather ordinary ones that have no point for your preferred style of play.

            In fact, if you find yourself inclined to write about anything, particularly if you’re presenting something in a less-than-positive light, take the time to find out why things are being done the way they are. You may discover that your frustration comes from your particular outlook on the subject, and that if you take the time to understand someone else’s experiences you may come to understand why things are the way they are. This may not make you any happier about it, but at least your article will come across as enlightened.

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