Phones are Evil

            I’ve never liked phones – calling or answering them. I admit that they are a convenient method of communication, but other than that they’re a nuisance and downright rude.

            Not many people think about it – because we were brought up with them – but phones are an invasive force we allow into our lives. We string them throughout our homes and, these days, carry them with us everywhere we go. This wouldn't be a problem if they were only used for emergencies, but having a phone is so natural that people don’t even think before picking one up to call someone.

            So, let’s go over the basics. The average person works a 9-5 job, so calling them between those times is a bad idea. You might think you can call them before that, catch them before they go to work, but if you think that you truly haven’t thought it through. You see, what the average person is doing at that time is their morning routine – involving getting ready for work, eating breakfast and transporting themselves to work. Interrupting them during any of that is not only rude, but it could slow them down and make them late for work. Any earlier and they’re sleeping.

            Okay, so calling in the morning and during the day is out, what about in the evening? I’d like you to pause your reading for a moment and turn to the person beside you (be they imaginary or not) and ask them at what time they and/or their family eats dinner (or supper, or whatever you feel like calling your evening meal. Assuming you eat). The answer will most likely range from 5 to 7 (depending on how long it takes to get home from work). Now, if we allow for an hour to eat, that pushes us back to 8:00. 5-8 involves coming home from work (Don’t get me started on talking on the phone while driving. Admittedly not everyone drives, but do you really want to be talking on the phone in a public area where anyone and everyone can eavesdrop on you? You might think other people don’t listen, but they do), preparing food and eating it. Calling then is, once again, rude and can delay meals or other plans.

            Yes, yes, so from the time the alarm goes off in the morning (let’s say 6am) to the time people are certain to be done eating (8pm) people are too busy to be receiving a call. What about later than that? How about you turn to that (possibly invisible) person beside you and ask them what they do in the evening after dinner. Social plans? Movie? TV? Playing a video game to relax? Reading a book? Getting caught up on favourite blogs? The point is, the next two to three hours are the only time during the day that Mr or Ms Average has to spend on them self. How rude do you have to be to call them and interrupt them during that time?

            Now, depending on a few variables, that is 6am-10pm that is unavailable for calling if you don’t want to rudely interrupt something important. Any later (or earlier) than that and you’re messing with bedtimes and waking people up. Thus, there is no appropriate time to make a phone call, simply because you have no idea what you are interrupting.

            That’s just the calling side, though! As someone answering the phone, have you ever stopped to think about how often the call has interrupted something you were doing? The worst part is always that you don’t know who’s calling (well, okay, call display solves that for some people) or how long the call will take. Not that it matters, because you’re obligated to answer – it’s rude to ignore the phone when it rings.

            Have I missed anything? Probably, but that’ll have to do for now; I have to go answer my phone.

Click here to find the charity anthology containing a couple of my short stories.

If there's any subject you'd like to see me ramble on about, feel free to leave a comment asking me to do so.